| Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) | |
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Bishamon Saitou
Number of Posts : 482 Age : 29 Location : Anywhere and everywhere Job/Interests : stuff, and other stuff... Quote : Ah swords...natures knives. Registration Date : 2011-06-03
| Subject: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:40 am | |
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Last edited by Bishamon Saitou on Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:30 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Artemis
Number of Posts : 447 Age : 35 Registration Date : 2010-12-25
| Subject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:39 pm | |
| Your solos are good, however your threads with others are all short most don't even seemed finished. I would ask that you try to lengthen your posts in threads with others and that you pay attention to grammar; while we aren't that strict when it comes to grammar we do ask that you put the effort forward to try and sound educated. | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440 Age : 43 Location : Here, but there Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything Quote : You were close, but I was right Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| Subject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:12 pm | |
| Arty raises some good points, but don't let it discourage you. Overall I'd call this acceptable, just finish up your threads and you're golden. PENDING APPROVAL. | |
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Bishamon Saitou
Number of Posts : 482 Age : 29 Location : Anywhere and everywhere Job/Interests : stuff, and other stuff... Quote : Ah swords...natures knives. Registration Date : 2011-06-03
| Subject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:26 pm | |
| @Arawn. Just wondering what threads do you mean? because i doubt i will be able to finish the 'WIP' one anytime soon. Thanks. | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440 Age : 43 Location : Here, but there Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything Quote : You were close, but I was right Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| Subject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:49 pm | |
| Yikes just noticed it's a 5 person thread. Hmmmm well I don't like unfinished threads, but waiting for 4 peeps would be a pain. I guess the story will get finished up afterwards. APPROVED. | |
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Sal Norongachi
Number of Posts : 903 Age : 38 Location : Scotland Job/Interests : Philosophical Drunkard/Booze Quote : Repensum est Canicula Registration Date : 2009-04-30
| Subject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:46 pm | |
| Yeah what those two said. Try and work on descriptive text in your posts. Describe the enviroment, toss in a bit of character thought here and there ect
You can never be too descriptive and it helps the reader form a better mental image of the scene.
These are things that you'll pick up along the way, however the best way to learn is to look at other RP'ers posts. Find someone who's writing you really enjoy and see if you can find what they are doing that you aren't. Set them as the bar you want to reach. Its how i did it and trust me i was a damn sight worse than i am now when i started.
Approved. | |
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Raikou
Number of Posts : 190 Age : 32 Location : Within the land of shadows Job/Interests : Conquering Hueco Mundo Quote : “The essence of fear is pain whose penultimate price is death. A person who fears death is truly alive while the one who does’t has successfully conquered one’s self.” Registration Date : 2010-06-30
| Subject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) Wed Jun 08, 2011 7:27 pm | |
| Description - Check; Needs more work Grammar - Needs Work Flow - On and off Thread amount - Good Post Length - Getting worked on. APPROVED
Rai most use strikeout when denying a thread/statement. And move the thread and update profile next time. >.>
Last edited by Raikou on Mon Jun 13, 2011 3:09 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Bishamon Saitou
Number of Posts : 482 Age : 29 Location : Anywhere and everywhere Job/Interests : stuff, and other stuff... Quote : Ah swords...natures knives. Registration Date : 2011-06-03
| Subject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:34 pm | |
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| Subject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) | |
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| Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement) | |
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