The Bleach World Roleplaying Forum
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

The Bleach World Roleplaying Forum

With the Rebel Faction defeated, a new age of peace arises within the Soul Society... but for how long? A Blood War could be just around the corner.
 
HomePortalSearchLatest imagesRegisterLog in

 

 Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)

Go down 
+5
Sal Norongachi
Arawn
DarkMaster
Bishamon Saitou
Auryuu Spire
9 posters
Go to page : Previous  1, 2
AuthorMessage
Arawn

Arawn


Male
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeTue Jan 17, 2012 3:35 am

You posted that day there's no need for a bump. If it was past 2 days maybe.


The return of the outcast: [3/10]

I had the chance to read this first for Hageshii, but the second reading it's easier to block out his work and focus on the remaining posts. Post length is decent size, but the content is troubling. Fawning over Kaiyo aside you ignore other people's posts or make strange additions. For instance they fall onto the roof and onto you, but you jump off the roof before that. Minor to be sure, but why jump down? You place a crowd of people around you when you did get off the room, but no mention comes of them afterwards. When Kaoseu leaves Hageshii asks for you to walk with him and tell him your name; and yet you make an odd comment. You don't really explain why. But when he asks about Kaoseu you tell him your name. It was abit confusing.

A healing day: [2/10]

It wasn't good or bad. You said hello, and that's pretty much it. Nothing really to say beyond that.
Back to top Go down
Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire


Male
Number of Posts : 482
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeTue Jan 17, 2012 4:08 pm

Alrighty thanks
Back to top Go down
Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire


Male
Number of Posts : 482
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeThu Jan 19, 2012 9:56 pm

Back to top Go down
Arawn

Arawn


Male
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Jan 23, 2012 10:01 pm

I already did a review on the first thread for Shakaku. I would refer you to that evaluation, but I'd rather someone else read and review it for you. Instead I'll do the second thread.

Class is over: [3/10]

Slim post lengths. In terms of the fight it felt rather one sided you blocking/avoid everything he had and didn't give him much to work with; no way to dodge, impossible to evade. You're not that far in stats. The liberties you took with your spells spells for instance. You even used that special kido as a double cast despite your own rule.
Back to top Go down
Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire


Male
Number of Posts : 482
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 12:02 am

alright then I guess I need a mod for that first thread then.

grade by or after the 31st
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3591-the-search-for-a-hattori-solo-pt1#26820 pt 1 of a planned 4 part thread.
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3572-resting-gets-you-killed-open
to be picked up somewhere else. >.<
Back to top Go down
DarkMaster

DarkMaster


Male
Number of Posts : 863
Age : 39
Location : In a daze.
Job/Interests : That's Officer DarkMaster to you, buddy.
Quote : I'm afraid of the dark.
Registration Date : 2010-07-18

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 7:33 pm

Thirst for knowledge: 3/10

I find it odd that books with forbidden kido be left out for anyone to read. For the most part it seemed like you guys did your own thing through out the thread. I would like to see larger posts.
Back to top Go down
DarkMaster

DarkMaster


Male
Number of Posts : 863
Age : 39
Location : In a daze.
Job/Interests : That's Officer DarkMaster to you, buddy.
Quote : I'm afraid of the dark.
Registration Date : 2010-07-18

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Jan 30, 2012 12:53 pm

Another mod/admin will have to grade "Resting will get you killed"

The Search for a Hattori - 4/10 - Nothing really offered in the post. But decent overall. I'm kinda surprised you went with the "pop cultural referenced" Hattori Hanzo sword maker rather then legendary Masamune and/or Muramasa. But that's just my thought.
Back to top Go down
Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire


Male
Number of Posts : 482
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeFri Feb 03, 2012 3:57 pm

ARAWN! CHECK THIS THREAD PLZ >.<
Back to top Go down
Arawn

Arawn


Male
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeSat Feb 04, 2012 3:09 am

Resting gets you killed: [3/10]

Some confusing stuff when reading it a sixth time. Some bad commentary, structure, and consistency in quite a few posts. Bakudo #11 isn't Shirokku, and the way you described made me question what kido you actually used. You don't spend much time or effort on the menacing creature. Although no one mentions a time of day it's suddenly night during your posts. Moonlight hits you to accent your actions and then it starts to rain out of no where. I think you did the same thing in Ana's thread. Meeting Tatsuya was awkward. You say you owed a debt, but you instantly want to turn him in?
Back to top Go down
Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire


Male
Number of Posts : 482
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 06, 2012 4:59 pm

Back to top Go down
Junko

Junko


Male
Number of Posts : 521
Age : 28
Registration Date : 2010-10-30

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeSun Feb 12, 2012 11:34 am

Back to top Go down
Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire


Male
Number of Posts : 482
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 13, 2012 4:32 pm

Back to top Go down
Arawn

Arawn


Male
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeSat Feb 18, 2012 5:46 am

Yet another kido session: [3/10]

Based on the title I thought you were going to teach Shakaku some of the kido you had learned. But then I realized this was before she ranked up. Some skinny postings til the fight begin in earnest. There were some strange confusing directions at points. After reading several times I would understand what you meant or perhaps meant to say.
Back to top Go down
Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire


Male
Number of Posts : 482
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeSun Feb 19, 2012 6:46 pm

Back to top Go down
Junko

Junko


Male
Number of Posts : 521
Age : 28
Registration Date : 2010-10-30

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeSun Feb 19, 2012 9:53 pm

Wow. So the solo was decent, worth maybe another 3 xp, but you had to go and use shikai, when you don't have it... This is wrong... And bad... And, Meh...

Luminous: 2 xp

Let me stress this to you, mods enjoy QUALITY over quantity, this Solo doesn't seem very well thought out, and seemed to switch directions, and was disjointed.

Length goes a long way towards quality, Long solo's get more points, and this was borderline 2-3 points. If you had beefed it up, describing events in more depth, accessing the mind of your character. In essence, being through will improve you XP.

*Opinion*A solo should be broken up into posts mainly as an extreme pause, or a lapse of time, even then, its not necessary. Try and keep this in mind.

I second that ~ The Arawn
Back to top Go down
Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire


Male
Number of Posts : 482
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 20, 2012 12:27 am

The last week has passed so I will submit my first thread:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3718-a-transfer-solo#27819
Back to top Go down
Zamoreus

Zamoreus


Male
Number of Posts : 139
Age : 32
Registration Date : 2011-05-17

Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 20, 2012 2:29 pm

Emo-Spire engaged, then disengaged all in one session.

The first post was decent, neatly spaced paragraphs but with the addition of the second post it felt like it ended at the wrong spot.

The second was a letdown by comparison, really short and a little too fickle with the character. As mentioned already this could have easily just been part of the first post.

2 xp
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)   Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) - Page 2 I_icon_minitime

Back to top Go down
 
Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)
Back to top 
Page 2 of 2Go to page : Previous  1, 2
 Similar topics
-
» Ren: Rank up thread
» Rosery's Rank up Thread
» Ryu's Rank up thread
» Ri ~ Rank up Thread
» N.I.U.S Rank up thread

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Bleach World Roleplaying Forum :: Daireishokairo (Archives) :: Archives :: 2020 Reset :: November 2015 Reset :: Character Applications :: Applications Forum :: Rank Up Applications-
Jump to: