Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Tue Jan 17, 2012 3:35 am

You posted that day there's no need for a bump. If it was past 2 days maybe.

The return of the outcast: [3/10]

I had the chance to read this first for Hageshii, but the second reading it's easier to block out his work and focus on the remaining posts. Post length is decent size, but the content is troubling. Fawning over Kaiyo aside you ignore other people's posts or make strange additions. For instance they fall onto the roof and onto you, but you jump off the roof before that. Minor to be sure, but why jump down? You place a crowd of people around you when you did get off the room, but no mention comes of them afterwards. When Kaoseu leaves Hageshii asks for you to walk with him and tell him your name; and yet you make an odd comment. You don't really explain why. But when he asks about Kaoseu you tell him your name. It was abit confusing.

A healing day: [2/10]

It wasn't good or bad. You said hello, and that's pretty much it. Nothing really to say beyond that.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Alrighty thanks

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Current exp: 9
Auryuu Spire

Grade on or after the 23rd.

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3500-thirst-for-knowledge-open
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3568-class-is-over-rayokutrinix-and-auryuu#26810

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:01 pm

I already did a review on the first thread for Shakaku. I would refer you to that evaluation, but I'd rather someone else read and review it for you. Instead I'll do the second thread.

Class is over: [3/10]

Slim post lengths. In terms of the fight it felt rather one sided you blocking/avoid everything he had and didn't give him much to work with; no way to dodge, impossible to evade. You're not that far in stats. The liberties you took with your spells spells for instance. You even used that special kido as a double cast despite your own rule.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

alright then I guess I need a mod for that first thread then.

grade by or after the 31st
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3591-the-search-for-a-hattori-solo-pt1#26820 pt 1 of a planned 4 part thread.
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3572-resting-gets-you-killed-open
to be picked up somewhere else. >.<

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:33 pm

Thirst for knowledge: 3/10

I find it odd that books with forbidden kido be left out for anyone to read. For the most part it seemed like you guys did your own thing through out the thread. I would like to see larger posts.

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:53 pm

Another mod/admin will have to grade "Resting will get you killed"

The Search for a Hattori - 4/10 - Nothing really offered in the post. But decent overall. I'm kinda surprised you went with the "pop cultural referenced" Hattori Hanzo sword maker rather then legendary Masamune and/or Muramasa. But that's just my thought.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

ARAWN! CHECK THIS THREAD PLZ >.<

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Sat Feb 04, 2012 3:09 am

Resting gets you killed: [3/10]

Some confusing stuff when reading it a sixth time. Some bad commentary, structure, and consistency in quite a few posts. Bakudo #11 isn't Shirokku, and the way you described made me question what kido you actually used. You don't spend much time or effort on the menacing creature. Although no one mentions a time of day it's suddenly night during your posts. Moonlight hits you to accent your actions and then it starts to rain out of no where. I think you did the same thing in Ana's thread. Meeting Tatsuya was awkward. You say you owed a debt, but you instantly want to turn him in?

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3524-hollow-brawl-anashi
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3660-wonderings-of-a-new-soul-open#27484
posted...............

Number of Posts : 521 Age : 28 Registration Date : 2010-10-30

Brawl but there were several instances which you caught yourself trying to auto hit... 3/10, but i did enjoy how your posts rose in length with his, try and keep that up regularly.

WanderingsPost length was impressive, but actual interactions in the thread didn't last so long im tempted to give it more, but unless you want to complain, ima give it a 3/10

25/45

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3621p15-yet-another-kido-session-auryuu

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Sat Feb 18, 2012 5:46 am

Yet another kido session: [3/10]

Based on the title I thought you were going to teach Shakaku some of the kido you had learned. But then I realized this was before she ranked up. Some skinny postings til the fight begin in earnest. There were some strange confusing directions at points. After reading several times I would understand what you meant or perhaps meant to say.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3711-luminious-solo#27805
Tossin this in.

Number of Posts : 521 Age : 28 Registration Date : 2010-10-30

~~Wow. So the solo was decent, worth maybe another 3 xp, but you had to go and use shikai, when you don't have it... This is wrong... And bad... And, Meh...~~

Luminous: 2 xp

Let me stress this to you, mods enjoy QUALITY over quantity, this Solo doesn't seem very well thought out, and seemed to switch directions, and was disjointed.

Length goes a long way towards quality, Long solo's get more points, and this was borderline 2-3 points. If you had beefed it up, describing events in more depth, accessing the mind of your character. In essence, being through will improve you XP.

*Opinion*A solo should be broken up into posts mainly as an extreme pause, or a lapse of time, even then, its not necessary. Try and keep this in mind.

I second that ~ The Arawn

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

The last week has passed so I will submit my first thread:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3718-a-transfer-solo#27819

Number of Posts : 139 Age : 31 Registration Date : 2011-05-17

Emo-Spire engaged, then disengaged all in one session.

The first post was decent, neatly spaced paragraphs but with the addition of the second post it felt like it ended at the wrong spot.

The second was a letdown by comparison, really short and a little too fickle with the character. As mentioned already this could have easily just been part of the first post.

2 xp

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