Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami)

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3161-character-app-auryuu-spire-shinigami:
Character page.

Rank: 2

Exp: 32/45

Threads:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3163-catching-wind-auryuu-felix-ren
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3165-strong-sensations-auryuu-shin#23441
Stat change
+5 technique
Thanks =).

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:00 pm

Catching Wind: 4/10

I have a few things to point out, you have quite a lot of spelling mistakes in it, also your punctuation needs work. After you've written a post, read it again a couple of times to make sure you haven't got too many mistakes in it. Also when you’re fighting, and using complex movements, as you are, try and explain them in a bit more detail, as they seem vague, and hard to understand exactly what you're doing, so please try and describe your moves the best you can. Also, when starting a thread, you need to try and be more descriptive, so the person entering the thread knows the time of day, the setting, and all that... but apart from your opening, I don't really have an issue with your post lengths. So take all that into mind, and try to put it into practise please Smile

Strong Sensations: 5/10

This one’s slightly better, but still, spelling and punctuation need work, and your opener is still pretty weak, so please try and work on those things. Oh and side note, it is okay to get hit in a fight, even if your speed is greater, or the same, it doesn't mean you can dodge every attack, you don't get any weaker from losing a fight.

Overall Exp: 9/20

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Thanks Bish Razz

Subject: Auryuu Spire Rank up Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:19 pm

Character: Auryuu Spire

Account: Same as character

Under my sig.

Current rank: 0

Current exp: 15/20

Stat change +5 Tech,
thanks.

Threads:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3196p15-true-beauty-jovia#23788
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3177-the-still-night-auryuu#23499

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:24 pm

1ST THREAD - 3/10
2ND THREAD - 3/10

TOTAL EXP - 6/20

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Fri Aug 26, 2011 12:19 am

Please remember you keep the same thread, there's no need to make a new one. Just add a reply with your new threads to be seen.

Subject: Auryuu's rank up Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:39 pm

Account Name: Auryuu Spire

Char Name: Auryuu Spire

Char profile:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3161-character-app-auryuu-spire-shinigami

Stat change
Tech +5

Current exp: 18/20

Rank 0--->Rank 1

Threads:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3222-well-see-here#24118
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3263-the-scared-ghost-solo#24080
Thanks
Mods that can't rank this:
None Wink

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:30 am

Well see here or We'll see here? (I'm guessing it's a pun about the well): 2/10

Very short posts, but their numbers almost makes up for it. Almost. Punctuation and spelling, meh. While I'd like to give you points for a RPWO with a hollow it's a fight that is also part of the reason for a low score. Ten's character is a kind hollow that doesn't want to be evil and hurt people unless she has to. Strange as it is; I get it. But a shinigami that doesn't want to hurt hollows? That's like a fire fighter refusing to put out a blaze because it's "too pretty". While it could be possible, it would be more believable if you character had a reason for thinking this way. Just seems he woke up and decided he liked hollows and they should die because they have to kill to survive. Those points aside why would a shinigami, in your case a student, have a house in the human world? Maybe an abandoned house that has a well.

The Scared Ghost: 1/10

You went a little comma crazy with this one. I think a few sentences had 3-4 commas. The thoughts were abit disorganized, but after rereading the point gets across. Using italic tags seems to be accepted by most as the character's thoughts. You used it once, then used (thought) the next time. Okay now for the meat and potatoes. This thread was no doubt a way for you to unveil your new zanpukto; fine. But the manner was just so flat. He wakes up and there's a sword waiting for him. Why would anyone give away a zanpukto? That's a bit of mystery sure, but you don't give anything for reader to go on. Did the ghost give it to him? And why would a ghost be with the weapon? Finding a weapon like a baby abandoned at a doorstep seems lacking. Okay I will admit Denno's character did get a floating friend, but that was at rank 3. I'm not sure who approved it, but I will suggest denial of such a thing until you've reached similar rank.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

T.T thanks Arawn Razz

, but your forgot to change my above exp ^ to 18.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Char Name, Account name: Auryuu Spire

Current exp:18
wanted stat change : +5 tech
Threads (Quota met):
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3282-trying-to-learn-kido-solo-auryuu#24278
Mods who can't review this:None
Squad of choice:Squad 5 unseated
Rank 1------>Rank 2

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:24 am

Thread Rank - 2/10

Rank up approved. *Stamps forehead*

Rank 1 Achieved

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3161-character-app-auryuu-spire-shinigami:
Character page.

Rank:1
Exp: 4/30

Threads:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3264p30-poor-vs-rich-zam#24417

Stat change

Thanks =).

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:02 am

Poor vs Rich - 4/10 - Posting length was rather lacking, but the thread was a decent length. The thread was okay overall.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Auryuu Spire

Auryuu Spire

Threads:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3209-how-many-shinigami-does-it-take-to-kill-a-hollowtenshineko-kaiyo (My parts done)
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3319-the-only-flower-solo#24577

Current exp:4
Any mod/admin, can check this, hopefully Marly.

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:28 am

You ready? *drum roll*

How many Shinigami does it take to kill a Hollow?

5/10 Exp.

You would have gotten a 6 here but as i said in chat, the wording threw me at points and broke up the flow of your posts. Something to work on.

Also being realistic (even in a fantasy setting) is very much desired. A Captain, even with the limiter seal, would decimate you. I think you realized this near the end of the thread, I just hope you remember in future.

The only Flower:

3/10 Exp

Again, the wording applies here. The thread was short as well.
Please don't rush RP's simply to use them for Rank ups, quality takes time. Enjoy what you are writing and trust me it will show through when someone comes to rank it.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Current Exp: 12

Character: Auryuu Spire

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3482p60-a-midnight-stroll-shiori
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3483-strolling-the-night-past-curfew-open

Rank 1----->Rank 2

Stat change +All technique

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:45 pm

I allot the following points:

A midnight stroll = 6 points

Great length and a nice interaction/development of characters. Would've given 7 points, but knocked it off for the short posts. Be a little more descriptive (just a little, I know that long posts are difficult, borderline impossible in a multi character thread) and the next thread will score better.

Strolling the night past curfew = 5 points

Shorter, but nice confrontation thread. Decent post length for the fighting. Nice job.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Current exp:23

Character Auryuu Spire

Rank1-------Rank2

Threads:
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3299-the-most-beautiful-captain

+5 Technique.

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:17 am

The most beautiful captain: [5/10]

This should have been done last week, but was undoubtedly buried under the barrage of new people and various other postings. Decent length thread and postings. A bit happy with the commas at a point. Don't be afraid to use that period key. Short sentences are allowed, it's better than reading very long ones. You're lucky Kaiyo let that slide, I mean seriously you were protecting a hollow. The whole shy and bashful route is harder to swallow after remembering that. I'm still amazed on how quickly you fall in and out of love with these girls. Oh well.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Arawn wrote:: The most beautiful captain: [5/10]

This should have been done last week, but was undoubtedly buried under the barrage of new people and various other postings. Decent length thread and postings. A bit happy with the commas at a point. Don't be afraid to use that period key. Short sentences are allowed, it's better than reading very long ones. You're lucky Kaiyo let that slide, I mean seriously you were protecting a hollow. The whole shy and bashful route is harder to swallow after remembering that. I'm still amazed on how quickly you fall in and out of love with these girls. Oh well.

Hahaha thanks Arawn.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3557-the-light-that-breaks-tbc#26530

Adding this to my last rank up, there will be more to come, so I figured I'd seperate the long story

Current exp: 28

Tech +5

Rank 1---->2

Pretty sure I'll lvl up.

Subject: Re: Rank up thread:Auryuu Spire (Shinigami) Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:18 pm

The Light That Breaks: [6/10]

Good length, and I can tell you've been taking advice. Sentences are good length, not too long, not too short. Would have been 7, save the back story. Be sure to flesh things out a little more in the future, give sort of an abbreviated update. Other than that, fantastic, you've got yourself a rank. Welcome to rank 2.

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Current exp:4

Tech +10

https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3532-the-return-of-an-outcast-open#26620
https://thebleachworld.darkbb.com/t3569-a-healing-day-shakaku-open

Number of Posts : 482 Age : 34 Registration Date : 2011-08-07

Bump.................

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