| | Shakaku Okibi Rankup |  |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
 |  Subject: Shakaku Okibi Rankup  Sun Jan 15, 2012 6:46 pm | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:39 pm | |
| Simple Spar: [4/10]
Gave myself a chance to reread the thread since I already graded it for Ezra. Still feel about the same in the way of score. I think you could have done more to him honestly, but it as the title said it was a simple spar. Try to beef up on length of post.
Last edited by Arawn on Tue Jan 17, 2012 2:39 am; edited 1 time in total | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:25 pm | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Tue Jan 17, 2012 2:38 am | |
| Dinner with Shakaku: [6/10]
If not for the sudden appearance of hollows that was a damn good RP of a date. I was thinking things would get strange sooner or later and I was right. Some weak posts, but is was a quick exchange. When the fight broke out you handled yourself well enough and dealt with the confining wardrobe.
When you rank up you get 5 points total to redistribute. So other than the +3 Speed is there something you want to add the remaining 2 points?
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Tue Jan 17, 2012 9:00 am | |
| how bout 2 for kidou? I only used one but thats a start i suppose. | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:55 pm | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:46 am | |
| A thirst for knowledge: [3/10]
A question: If the books/tomes are forbidden why are you guy finding them like sand on a beach? Every book you two picked up was secret volume, just makes it seem rather odd. That aside the thread was shakey. Both of you kinda did your own thing almost like you weren't in the same thread at all. But then you got connected in end, and then it ended. Still some skinny post, but keep at it. | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:00 pm | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Sat Jan 28, 2012 1:53 am | |
| Resting gets you killed: [5/10]
As predicted things got chaotic in the thread. There was no real direction except take down hollow and survive. There was an attempt to unite the overall effort for abit. When DM joined in you rallied under his lead. Don't be afraid to try to push things when you can, your view point is just a good as the rest. | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:42 am | |
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Will
Number of Posts : 202
Age : 34
Registration Date : 2010-11-24
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:08 am | |
| Determined for Success [1/10]
While this thread was of decent length and the story was good I was not grading the story overall but your part in it. To me it seemed that you phoned it in.
Your grammar was horrendous for one when writing in the third person is fine you have to understand the use of she for every sentence is not correct. You need to specify who it is you are talking about so that the reader doesn't become confused or lost. You also had a lot of repetition in your thread and frankly it tires one out to read the same thing over and over.
Finally, you need to keep your post length up when someone gives you a post of decent length and you reply with a short post it is discouraging to the other writer involved and his reply becomes shorter in response. If you have trouble with lengthening up your posts one of my professors use to say something that really might help you out. She would tell us to "Show her a story." | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:01 pm | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:28 am | |
| Ooooo I just saws this; I have 30 mins to make the week's deadline. I like a challenge.
*goes to reread thread*
Candle lit reading: [3/10]
A rather lengthy conversation thread. There were some low points in there, but you two managed to keep the talk going. Still kinda skimpy on the posting, but again numerous posts almost makes up for it. More descriptions and directions when you can. Just as you explain your thoughts you can give more on your actions. Happy rank up!
To clarify: 3 Speed and 2 Spirit? | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:47 am | |
| thanks you!  and yeah! | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Sun Feb 12, 2012 2:05 pm | |
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Junko
Number of Posts : 521
Age : 28
Registration Date : 2010-10-30
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Sun Feb 12, 2012 2:23 pm | |
| - Quote :
- "Yellow energy ropes formed in front of Shakaku and they wrapped around Spire's arms and legs. She was breathing hard but smiled from the rush of satisfaction she got that she was able to catch Spire. Finally, she was on the offensive side. Wasting no time, the ropes lifted Spire up and threw him against the back wall of the sparring grounds with an echoing thud."
This is the definition of an autohit, that, a weak premise merit this thread only. Another thing, trying breaking up your paragraphs by hitting enter twice, it is hard to read teh blocks of text as they are. Yet another Kido Session: 1/10 | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:03 pm | |
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Junko
Number of Posts : 521
Age : 28
Registration Date : 2010-10-30
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Tue Jul 17, 2012 6:53 pm | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Thu Jul 26, 2012 11:40 am | |
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Kuro
Number of Posts : 1117
Age : 35
Location : where indeed :/........
Job/Interests : Plant worker/writing
Quote : Ah ah ah, can't touch me
Registration Date : 2009-06-20
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:27 pm | |
| The Escape Plan: 4/10 Decent posts for a thread with so many people. Keep it going. | |
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Shakaku
Number of Posts : 179
Age : 30
Job/Interests : Psychiatry
Quote : It tastes like Jesus shit on a plate.
Registration Date : 2011-12-19
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Mon Jul 30, 2012 7:34 pm | |
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Junko
Number of Posts : 521
Age : 28
Registration Date : 2010-10-30
| | Subject: Re: Shakaku Okibi Rankup Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:46 pm | |
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Thanks for all the hard work yall do!
