Lilith26
Number of Posts : 27
Age : 29
Registration Date : 2012-09-08
 |  Subject: Lilith Yasutake Rank up thread  Thu Sep 13, 2012 9:26 pm | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Lilith Yasutake Rank up thread Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:46 am | |
| My school days: [4/10]
Sorry for late reply. I had meant to log in yesterday, but got sidetracked. For the most part a decent beginning. Then again a few easy grammar and spelling errors that might have been caught with a quick reread. Very lax on details when it come to the hollow. The battle was tricky to follow, but seems you had solid idea for the thread. | |
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Lilith26
Number of Posts : 27
Age : 29
Registration Date : 2012-09-08
| | Subject: Re: Lilith Yasutake Rank up thread Tue Dec 25, 2012 6:13 pm | |
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DarkMaster
Number of Posts : 863
Age : 39
Location : In a daze.
Job/Interests : That's Officer DarkMaster to you, buddy.
Quote : I'm afraid of the dark.
Registration Date : 2010-07-18
| | Subject: Re: Lilith Yasutake Rank up thread Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:49 pm | |
| Heaven can wait - 4/10 P.S. - when submitting threads for evaluation, you only need to submit the thread link. The first post shall be edited accordingly.  | |
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Lilith26
Number of Posts : 27
Age : 29
Registration Date : 2012-09-08
| | Subject: Re: Lilith Yasutake Rank up thread Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:35 pm | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Lilith Yasutake Rank up thread Sun Feb 03, 2013 12:53 am | |
| My school days: [2/10]
It started off well enough, but ended rather quickly. A good beginning. Still rather rushed other parts. The conflict happens fast as well. Don't be afraid to push in more details or go beyond the monster slaying. I do have a question; where did the sword come from? You mentioned grabbing the cross, but doubt you'd walk around with a sword at school.
A night of hollows: [4/10]
Very aggressive, but abit too focused on target. Still you managed to bring about a decent exchange between the two. It was a good setting for you to use the environment to your advantage or use some NPC for something other than fodder. Don't think Vik will join you after you tried to kill him.... | |
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| | Subject: Re: Lilith Yasutake Rank up thread | |
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