Tenshineko
Number of Posts : 337
Age : 32
Location : Bleach rp
Job/Interests : Hobbie:Reading, Watching Bleach
Quote : Life is waunderful. Never give up on your dreams.
Registration Date : 2011-05-12
 |  Subject: Ren: Rank up thread  Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:57 am | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 42
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Ren: Rank up thread Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:32 am | |
| For the most part you have great spelling and structure, and your post length has gotten better. Better, but there is still room for improvement. Another thing I've noticed is the barrage of colors. Nothing wrong with being colorful, but it does get distracting. I'd prefer just italics as inner thoughts if possible.
Fateful Encounter - Short and to the point. Some character development (backstory). Feels like there could have been more if Nerra would pop in and post. [2/10]
More hollow than you think - More meat than the last, but you did have more active people to work with. You posting fluctuated abit during the thread. Try to work on descriptions when you can. [4/10] | |
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Tenshineko
Number of Posts : 337
Age : 32
Location : Bleach rp
Job/Interests : Hobbie:Reading, Watching Bleach
Quote : Life is waunderful. Never give up on your dreams.
Registration Date : 2011-05-12
| | Subject: Re: Ren: Rank up thread Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:34 pm | |
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Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 42
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| | Subject: Re: Ren: Rank up thread Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:47 pm | |
| No one deserves to be treated like that: [2/10]
"Always leave them wanting more" It's a decent philosophy when writing, draw people in and leave them hungry. You went halfway on the first and doubled up on the second. I was seriously asking who the shadowman was. Why was he doing it? Another question was why Ren waited that long to "save" the boy. The whole scene played out well, but you could have ramped it up abit.
Inner character: [3/10]
You posting length got pretty small at parts. Only 2 sentences. Be more descriptive. The other hollow looked like a monkey, but what kind? I can see the idea behind your posts, all you have to do is expand upon it. | |
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| | Subject: Re: Ren: Rank up thread | |
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