What of her? *solo*

The knee-jerk reaction, as involuntary as ever. Kaiyo sighed as the thermometer was shoved into her mouth, the pressure around her arm finally deflating. Being prodded and poked was not her idea of recovery, but people kept insisting that she should have died, so checking she still wasn't going to was necessary. Kaiyo still only saw it as an annoyance. The senior doctor entered, clipboard in hand as one might have expected. Tutting away at various charts and sheets of paper as the woman shooed away the other squad members. Sitting on the bed next to Kaiyo as she smiled politely at the Captain. The woman in question had redish brown hair, swept to the side with a plain hair slide, and she had a certain warmth to her aura, it was comforting. 'So how are you feeling Captain?' she clicked her pen, clearly ready to jot down any ailments. Kaiyo shrugged off the question, not keen on in-depth conversations. 'Well I'm still around' she smirked. The woman didn't respond, she didn't even write anything. Nope, she just held her brown eyes, staring deep into the Captain's soul; concerned perhaps.

Kaiyo shuffled awkwardly, averting her own gaze to the corner of the room. The woman sighed, hopping off the bed as she wandered across the room to get some more bandages. 'You know, just before your fight started, someone killed an entire noble family, you wouldn't know anything about that would you Captain?'. Kaiyo's cold eyes lifted, an intense glare piercing the red-head. 'I hadn't heard' she lied. Kaiyo had been following that investigation, she'd left no evidence to point to her and the shinigami in charge hadn't found anything either. Of course, sooner of later someone might realise it was her, so she'd just need to go through her reasoning, with evidence. It didn't make her death sentence any less for it, but honestly, that was the least of Kaiyo's worries. 'I'm Sara by the way Captain, you'll have to excuse my informality, but whilst this is my office i'd ask you do as i say, irrelevant of your higher rank' That in itself seemed like an odd question, but Kaiyo didn't really feel like arguing, she just wanted to leave. So instead the blonde girl nodded with a hollow smile, 'Sure thing, just call me kaiyo then' she added.

Sara slowly began unravelling Kaiyo's bandages, re-dressing wounds seemed like such a hassle, and Kaiyo didn't even think there was a benefit to it. 'So what's on your mind Kaiyo?' her tone was light, but there was a more commanding undertone to her voice. This woman knew something...

'Nothing'

...

'Here, take these' she passed the girl a small paper cup filled with some tablets along with a glass of water. Kaiyo hated taking tablets, they choked her. 'How bad is it? Can i see?' she retorted, trying to not take the pain-killers of course. The woman glanced down to the two wounds on Kaiyo's stomach. Two fire soaked blades had gone in one side and out the others. Her clothes had initially been fused to the skin at various wounds, scars and stitches were the lesser injuries. Sara looked back up to Kaiyo, 'No, just take the pills' The blonde girl obliged the order; scrunching up her face as she continued to chug down the entire glass of water. Trying to rid her throat of the taste. Next she was slid off the bed, standing with her arms lifted as Sara bandaged her entire torso.

A moments silence passed in the room as the 4th squad member continued with her job. 'Did you kill them?' she asked bluntly, stepping back from the Captain as she admired her work. More silence. Kaiyo could feel her heart beating that little bit louder, that little bit faster. 'This is the part where i don't answer'. Sara nodded, returning back to her clipboard as she began scrawling a few things down, not even looking up as she spoke again. 'Do you feel bad about it?' Radio silence as Kaiyo returned to the bed, putting her shirt back on. She heard her sighing from behind her, and yet she couldn't answer. She couldn't admit to holding no remorse for taking so many lives, and so brutally as well. Liking combat was one thing, feeling nothing over murder was definitely something else. The woman, Knox, she had deserved her death and in a way, they all had. But what made Kaiyo able to decide the fate of so many, power alone?

The girl shut her eyes as tightly as she could, blocking out those creeping questions the doctor seemed too keen on finding answers for. Keeping her eyes low, the Captain tried to make her way straight for the door. Paused by a hand that grabbed onto her wrist. Kaiyo couldn't look back, it was a bad idea, so Sara just spoke to her shoulder. 'When i first met you, i was at the academy, and you were Captain...You were so kind, and caring towards everyone, just, don't lose that person Kaiyo'. Her grip loosened as Kaiyo rushed out the room, leaving the door swinging in her wake as she went as fast as she could. As far away from her mind as she needed to...

Kaiyo squinted at the image, quickly losing her temper with the trivial task she had been laden with. The Captain snapped, flicking her hand outwards as she sent the piece of card smashing against the side of the wall. Sara sighed heavily, frowning at the girl as she still waited for an answer. Enter grumpy child...'What? It looks exactly like the last black splodge!' even accompanied by a grumpy folding of her arms. Kaiyo stood up to leave, halted by Sara's voice, 'I think you have a lot of problems Kaiyo' she replied in an almost overtly motherly tone. Kaiyo twisted back around with a sarcastic flourish of her hands, 'No shit!'. It was a wonder why she ever agreed to such treatment, though agreed was a term used loosely in the context. The Captain himself had told Kaiyo she needed to see this squad member, to keep checking her wounds, and try and council her through issues she was having about her near death experience. The whole thing was stupid, and Kaiyo was reaching the end of her tether with it.

Enthralled in her own rage, Kaiyo moved to open the door, glaring over her shoulder to Sara when she realised it was locked. That was just a low blow. 'Why are you being so reluctant?' she pondered out-loud. The blonde girl sighed heavily, slowly tugging her hand away from the door as she turned back around to face the shinigami. 'Because i'm fine, i've killed people before, i've been hurt before and this is no different' she stated as matter-of-fact as she could. Sara nodded lightly and jotted a few more things down on her secret notebook. 'Okay, just two more questions'. The 4th squad member rose from her seat, wandering around the Captain as she began fiddling with a few medical supplies in the corner. She was locked in a room, and feeling less than inspired to break down the door, Kaiyo agreed.

Sara turned back around with a needle. Kaiyo instantly took a step backwards, stumbling into her chair from the needle as the doctor giggled lightly, 'I know you don't like needles, but it's thr 12th squad regenerative serum, to increase your healing' she smiled. Waiting for the reluctant girl to shuffle closer to her, squinting in the anticipation of the pain to follow. Of course it was almost laughable, that the 11th squad Captain had a fear of injections, then again, people weren't exactly going to make fun of the 11th squad Captain. Gripping tightly onto chair with her left hand Kaiyo moved her right arm towards the woman as she spoke. 'Last 2 questions then...Do you see a problem with killing someone to save someone else?...And Would you kill someone to prove something?'. Kaiyo winced as the thin needle pierced his skin, practically shaking she shut her eyes to try and ignore the feeling of it's contents being shot into her blood stream.

Kaiyo looked back at Sara once it was over. 'No, some people are better off dead, and some people just have to die' she retorted coldly. Sara shook her head, the action un-noticed by the Captain who had turned to leave once more. Staggering before the door, her hand just missed it as she fell. A blurred image of Sara staring back up at her as she lifted her onto the bed. 'I just have a few more questions Kaiyo, you're safe i promise'. Even in such a panicked state, Kaiyo trusted the woman. She couldn't not, Sara just seemed too centred and certain and caring; and she had to hope she wasn't lying.

- - -

Kaiyo could hear a regulated beeping, echoing through the darkness that surrounded her, she couldn't even tell where the sound was coming from. Then Sara's voice swayed through, melting away the dark to reveal the field Kaiyo had learnt Shikai and Bankai in. 'How does she even?' Her thoughts were cut off as a breeze swept through the long grass. Tickling the palm of her hand, Kaiyo began to walk through the long grass. 'That's right Kaiyo, a place you feel safe, somewhere you know very well, somewhere just for you'. The girl couldn't make out Sara's words, just her tone; it was soothing as ever. 'Now on your left, you see the first person you killed'. Kaiyo winced at the sheer presence of the man, the first glimmer of her humanity fading at the sight of him. The previous 11th squad Captain, as was tradition, the only way to become Captain of the 11th squad, was the third way...To defeat the current Captain in a fight to the death. Yet there he was, just as she remembered him, terrifying and large in his demeanour, the man who had sent a chill down her spine the first time they had met. Kaiyo shut her eyes, not wanting to wade through the grass to get any closer to the dangerous man.

'It's fine Kaiyo, you won't be hurt'.

'But he-'.

'He can't hurt you in here remember, this is your place, you're safe here'

The blonde girl nodded to herself, standing back up straight as she stared up into his black eyes. The sun basked the green grass in golden light, shimmering along it like a wave in the ocean. 'Good, now i want you to see the first person you didn't want to kill'. There she was, straight away, standing there like she'd been waiting for so long. Kaiyo's older sister. The girl gasped, trying to move backwards in sheer regret as the wind pushed her forwards a pace. Her own hollow blue eyes shook, her mouth a-jar, and speechless. 'Okay Kaiyo, i need you to tell me how you feel'. The overlaying of a familiar voice made Kaiyo vocalise her feelings. 'I-I...I didn't mean to kill her, i had to...I had to kill my sister, i had to kill my Captain. I needed to, the-they had to die...'. The two images faded away, leaving behind nothing, no remnant of their existence at all. Sara moved her hand onto Kaiyo's, squeezing the girl's hand as she spoke.

'Now- don't do it yet, but i want you to, soon. Slowly turn around. Don't worry you're still safe, but i just want you tell me what you see'. Kaiyo unknowingly obliged, sweeping a strand of her hair from her face as she shuffled around. Her waist hidden within the tall grass, as she turned. Her eyes growing wider with panic as they lay there. Soaked in their own blood, piled on one another. Mountains of dead, all around her. 'I did that' she stated bluntly, unable to say much else. The stench of death danced in the breeze, reaching her nose in a matter of seconds. Everyone, everyone she'd killed lay in front of her. Easily hundreds, hundreds of people who had died by her sword. How was that doing good? How was that helping people?

That wasn't the aim anymore though was it... Kaiyo took a step closer to the bodies, the skies clouding over with a dark red, cracking with grey darkness as the grass around her died, whithering into nothingness. 'Everyone has to crack a few heads every once in a while, some people deserve to lose their life, some deserve it for questioning it...For standing in my way. Why should i care about nameless bodies i don't know?' Kaiyo's own voice was sounding less human, less like herself. So strained and distant from remorse or guilt that her own mind rejected such thoughts, banished them.

'What about your sister?' Sara was sounding more concerned, her own voice making its way to Kaiyo's ears from the field as the girl began searching around for her. 'Didn't she deserve to live?'. Tension rose quickly in a panic as Kaiyo felt a hand on her shoulder, turning face to face with her older sister, crying, right in front of her. Kaiyo froze, replying slowly as she looked deeply into the woman's eyes. 'She tried to kill me' The sword went straight through her, exploding into nothing but mist in a second, the pain gone as fast as her sister. Kaiyo turned back around, a contorted look of malice in her eyes as her voice rose. 'They all tried to kill me...They showed me no remorse, they didn't care about hurting me! So why should i give a fuck if they'e dead?!'

Kaiyo glared into the distance as Sara passed her more tablets. Swallowing them with no visible reaction, the Captain waited for her healer to finish her job. 'You're mad at me' she finally deduced, thank you Captain Obvious! Her cold gaze slowly twisted around to the woman, 'Ya think?' she snarled back. Clearly not in the best of moods. Sara began fiddling around with a particularly bad burn on Kaiyo's shoulder, 'I'm just trying to help you Kaiyo'. She regretted telling her to call her Kaiyo, formality would be better in this situation. Sara slapped Kaiyo's right shoulder, 'Stop tensing!' she ordered. Kaiyo dropped her shoulders, still glaring. 'Well you drugged me remember, i never tried to kill you...Yet' she mumbled the last part, she didn't actually want to kill Sara, just at this moment cause a bit of harm to her. Again, not the best indicator towards her humanity.

Sara shrugged it off, still as calm as ever the woman gestured towards Kaiyo's shirts on the bed. 'We're done here' she finished, not even looking up from her scribbles. The usual twang of guilt never came, that in itself was odd. The Captain didn't bother draped her haori over her right arm as she nodded lightly, making her way to leave as Sara passed her a folded up piece of paper. 'Just, look this over, please Kaiyo...' Her face was blank still, void of emotion as she nodded and left the room. Kaiyo never felt anymore healed after her medical visits, but she was starting to get better, even if she hadn't noticed yet.

The blonde Captain strode away from the 4th squad barracks, her Zanpakuto swaying at her hip as she began to unfold the paper. The girl stopped. Her eyes flickering from left to right as she read and re-read it's contents. It was wrong, it had to be wrong, because it just wasn't possible...

During the initial healing of Captain Kaiyo Saiyouko, an anomaly occurred; acting of it's own malice, whilst the Captain was still unconscious, her Zanpakuto tried to attack her. Taking what our records have confirmed to be their true form. The attack was only stopped after Captain Ryouta of the 12th divison suppressed it. This is perhaps an indicator towards the sustained damage of hiding her reiatsu has had on the Captain. Kaiyo Saiyouko is to be monitored closely to assure no such splitting of her soul occurs.

Kaiyo just stared at the paper, willing the words to change, but they wouldn't. Her thoughts were cut off by a scream, the girl flash stepped to it's source. One of her own squad members assaulting a 4th squad shinigami, just outside their own barracks. A flash of anger swept through the Captain in a blind rage as she appeared behind the large man, grabbing onto a chunk of his clothing as she threw him backwards. Crashing through the side wall of another building as she turned towards the man who was now quite injured. 'Find another squad' she snarled, turning back to the shaking 4th squad, her expression not any softer. 'Get out of here' she ordered, the female nodding as she ran back towards her own barracks.

Kaiyo vanished, flash stepped to the place that had been brought back to her memory, the field that had over time, soaked up so much of her reiatsu that it had shimmered with the brightest flowers she'd ever seen. It was a safe place, a place that she only knew about, and yet it was so open. Her white haori drifted off her arm, dancing just above the grassy field and draping itself over the branch of a tree that stood at the corner of the field. How could such a nice day seem so dark? The whooshing sound of material was lost in another breeze, Kaiyo's Zanpakuto thrown in front of her on the floor. Cushioned by the soft green grass now. 'Come on then!' she yelled down at the blade, trying to call out her Zanpakuto spirits. Nothing, not a whisper.

A Zanpakuto is born within the soul of their shinigami, they fight as a representation of that shinigami's heart.


'Why would you try to kill me? What kind of sword are you?!'


When a shinigami dies, their Zanpakuto dies along with them.


'Just answer me! You're meant to do as I say!'


They are one with the shinigami, and share the Shinigami's conviction...

'Want to talk about it?'

...

'Not really'

--------------------------------
Kaiyo sat on the floor behind her desk, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees as she began to shake, silently whimpering as the images and noises of the flames surrounded her senses. The reality of the pain, the noise, the heat...It was almost unbearable. In a way, Kaiyo blamed Junko for this...Of course she knew it wasn't the fault of her squad member, but she was the one who'd managed to back Kaiyo into such a weak position, and she'd triggered it all. The girl's usual vivacity had been drained from her being, replaced with an angst that she seemed almost unable to control. Tears welled up in her eyes. The sorry state of the 11th squad Captain...

The girl had gone through a lot in her afterlife. Kaiyo had been closer to death than even most of the Captains, and she held the battle scars to prove it. The girl had suffered through the deaths of her sister, and some of the people she held more dear to her. It all seemed so sudden though, as if, all at once things got a lot harder for her. Troubles were suffocating her and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

A knowledge of emotion had replaced any genuine feeling. A paralysing fear of the thing that had nearly killed her and a Zanpakuto that seemed more concerned about killing her than helping her survive. Kaiyo was a mess, and she knew it.
--------------------------------

'Have the tablets helped at all? With the flashbacks? Or the nightmares?'

'A bit...'

---------------------------------
The lid wouldn't open. The jittery girl had lost any real movement and dexterity in her hands, and she couldn't get the damn lid open. Her convulsing got stronger as she dropped to the floor. Her stomach twisting in knots as she angirly slammed the bottle against the ground. Shattering the bottle as her shaking hands grappled at the small pills. Cutting open her hand on a rogue shard as she flung back as many tablets as she could grab.
---------------------------------

'But you're Zanpakuto, it's more responsive now?'

'Yeah...But Tenrai Zenpyou doesn't mention attacking me...'

'Is that bad?'

...

'I guess not'

Kaiyo spoke with little emotion, her face pale, her eyes dreary with a lacking energy, and drained. In effect, the bubbly Captain was more a shell of what she once was, no longer living in the wakeless nightmare that had trapped her. The inner battle raged on however, the sparking tension from behind her eyes hinted to the revolution. The change and transformation that would allow the meagre sense of normality that she had clung so desperately to, to return. In exchange...The very morality she had prided herself in for so long. Her reasoning for her entire ranks of achievements, the very desire of her being had faded to a flickering light that was so close to going out. It was getting closer, and Kaiyo was doing nothing to stop it. She just needed to hold on a little longer, just that small distance further, there were still loose ends to fix.