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With the Rebel Faction defeated, a new age of peace arises within the Soul Society... but for how long? A Blood War could be just around the corner.
 
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 Niradhara's Rank Up thread

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Aohada Nigami

Aohada Nigami


Male
Number of Posts : 33
Age : 33
Location : Stalking the Night
Job/Interests : Making Lists
Quote : I don't join...I lead.
Registration Date : 2012-06-05

Niradhara's Rank Up thread Empty
PostSubject: Niradhara's Rank Up thread   Niradhara's Rank Up thread I_icon_minitimeTue Jul 31, 2012 2:06 am

Character Name: Remington Gravelle

Username: Aohada Nigami

Link to Character Bio: Niradhara Mehra

Current Rank: Rank 0

Current Exp: 15/20

Roleplays to be Evaluated:
My Life Ruined

Roleplays already Evaluated:
Picnicking in Sengoku
White Knight Wanted

Requested Stat Point Increases:


Last edited by Aohada Nigami on Mon Aug 20, 2012 9:49 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Junko

Junko


Male
Number of Posts : 521
Age : 28
Registration Date : 2010-10-30

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PostSubject: Re: Niradhara's Rank Up thread   Niradhara's Rank Up thread I_icon_minitimeWed Aug 01, 2012 12:10 am

I liked the thread. 6/10
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Aohada Nigami

Aohada Nigami


Male
Number of Posts : 33
Age : 33
Location : Stalking the Night
Job/Interests : Making Lists
Quote : I don't join...I lead.
Registration Date : 2012-06-05

Niradhara's Rank Up thread Empty
PostSubject: Re: Niradhara's Rank Up thread   Niradhara's Rank Up thread I_icon_minitimeSat Aug 04, 2012 7:41 pm

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Arawn

Arawn


Male
Number of Posts : 3440
Age : 43
Location : Here, but there
Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything
Quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration Date : 2010-06-23

Niradhara's Rank Up thread Empty
PostSubject: Re: Niradhara's Rank Up thread   Niradhara's Rank Up thread I_icon_minitimeSat Aug 04, 2012 10:17 pm

White knight wanted: [3/10]

As creative as the double masked hollows sound, you seem to have problems directing them. After referring to your link of the hollow page I was further confused by the transformation and cero firing sequence.

Quote :
He coiled, his outer head split in two and flailing. When he recovered, he raised himself, splitting his tail into two legs, his long outer head split into two parts, making up claws on his long arms.

This must be the man form you mentioned. It seems head becomes arms. Thought you meant the mask or was it other head?

Quote :
Maggot's mouth opened wider after saying so, until his head had split into a giant maw and yellow light was gathering in his mouth. But if that wasn't enough, lights had already gathered in its claws, and it had put its hands together to reform the outer mask in front of itself. The Cero from the large mask fired like a beam, issuing forth in a single destructive yellow light from the mouth towards the shinigami, and also issuing upwards through its hollow hole into the sky behind it.

I'm guessing this was supposed to be like a double (triple?) cero? There's the mask charging a beam and the hands get one too. But then the hands reform the mask? That's what had me scratching my head. Seems the mask keeps splitting. How does this outer mask work? Is it just over the plain mask? So is there a gap between the mask because he swallows Tatsu and then there's the second mask. I read it multiple times trying to visualize what you were looking for here. Kinda surprising that 5 from the organization can't handle Vikaz, yet the gun makes short work of the hand monster.
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Aohada Nigami

Aohada Nigami


Male
Number of Posts : 33
Age : 33
Location : Stalking the Night
Job/Interests : Making Lists
Quote : I don't join...I lead.
Registration Date : 2012-06-05

Niradhara's Rank Up thread Empty
PostSubject: Re: Niradhara's Rank Up thread   Niradhara's Rank Up thread I_icon_minitimeMon Aug 20, 2012 9:50 pm

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Junko

Junko


Male
Number of Posts : 521
Age : 28
Registration Date : 2010-10-30

Niradhara's Rank Up thread Empty
PostSubject: Re: Niradhara's Rank Up thread   Niradhara's Rank Up thread I_icon_minitimeTue Aug 21, 2012 10:41 pm

My Life Ruined: 6/10
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PostSubject: Re: Niradhara's Rank Up thread   Niradhara's Rank Up thread I_icon_minitime

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