A Talk about Right and Wrong (Kaiyo)

It was early evening in the sereitei, most of those who needed had eaten by now some was going out eating on the shift. Though some was above that and pretty much only ate while able. The sun had gone down some time ago, the day had been pretty, and with those days always comes busy hours at the desk. People like doing missions during these times. Which ofcourse also meant Shikuro had alot of paperwork. Or had atleast thoughts had kept him in today, he felt he could make some serious mistakes should he go out at the moment. So he stayed in finnished up the reports some time ago. Right now he was lying in his bed staring up at the sealing while throwing a ball back and fourth between the wall and his hand. He had gotten it for that purpose exactly, to strengthen his abbility to see without seeing. Though he didn't know it himself, he just felt like buying it, and now felt like doing just that.

After lying there for a while, and after having concluded this matter wasn't really one he could decide on his own. Shikuro thought best to consult someone he could trust. Though in the past few days the people he could call trustworthy had gotten smaller, there was still a few amoung those his beloved Captain. In his last throw he threw the ball a bit harder and aimed diffrendly, the ball flying over on the bed again, landing on his pillow. Shikuro himself allready having moved away from his position.
He elegantly kicked lightly the sheath of his Zanpakuto slinging it around his arm the swiftly onto his back, then walking out of his room. His steps felt heavy though, a bit nervous. Not for the normal reasons though they had more or less gone. He hoped that Kaiyo would atleast agree with him alittle, or have a stand point he can't support. Though he knew Kaiyo atleast alittle, so he knew she couldn't do that much.
He stopped infront of her door, taking a deep breath, and then knocks on her door.
"Kaiyo do you have some time?"
He waited a bit, should she say yes, he would enter with a gentle smile.

The orange hue that had drifted in through the window with the silence of a shift change had been the breaking point; Kaiyo's focus was bad normally, but soft lighting a light breeze and silence had been more than enough to send her dozing into her own personal dream world.

A series of unfortunate battles had placed Kaiyo on what felt like a forced leave of absence; her more recent bought with Sal had left her particularly wounded; and that was only her ego. What was left was a wounded Captain, who hadn't felt so feeble in a very long time. With nothing else to do, the usually bubbly girl had been manning her desk all day; pain-painstakingly working through her ever-lasting mountain of paperwork.

Shiku's voice echoed through her dream for a moment, a time-skip that altered her dream-verse enough to wake the Captain from her slumber. Kaiyo sat bolt up, her arms flapping around a bit and knocking aside a newly stacked bunch of forms; brilliant. Taking a moment to glare down at the disobedient papers, the Captain cleared her throat slightly. 'Y-yeah, come on in' she called, trying to sound as awake as possible.

The girl stood up from her chair, running her hand along the handle of her Zanpakuto as she passed it; placed neatly on the top of a table near the sofa's. The blonde girl smiled slowly at Shiku, a friendly face always cheered her up. Kaiyo slumped down into one of the sofa's, shuffling back on it to get comfy as she awaited a good conversation, fighting back a yawn behind her constant smile, and slightly messed up hair.

Shikuro could definetly hear the sounds of papers flowing about not that he really could do anything but wait till he was told to come in. And as he did walk though that door his pleasant smile, sticked to his lips.
He didn't exactly take place at the sofa just yet, he thought better to help out alittle at first, so he went over to the papers left on the ground.
"Sorry to interrupt... seemes you where working??"
He looked over a few papers as he stacked them up, and put them back up on the desk, before turning back to Kaiyo.
"If this is a bad time I could always come back later?"
He knew where his manners should be, though he also knew Kaiyo enough that she rather enjoyed having him over, the reason why he had defined it was an excuse not to work.

Shikuro was pretty sure he wasn't going to be turned down, and so after hearing just that he sat down in the sofa facing Kaiyo, he chuckled softly first having seen her slightly messy state he wasn't even sure what he had interrupted anymore.
"You've been busy???"
Shikuro figured some short smalltalk would ease out the topic he wanted to discuss, that and the fright of what might come of this discussion was still clear in his mind, nagging him all the way. Still not 100% sure that it couldn't go bad was really the issue. What was weird he didn't fear for his life, or getting into trouble for saying things that should not be said. What he really feared, was loosing Kaiyo, bth as a Captain and as a friend. She was definetly one of the persons here he cared the most for and there for, he cherished their relationship alot.

A light blush tinted the Captain's cheeks as she smiled guiltily, vaguely ruffling the back of her hair back into it's usual state as Shiku sat down. The laugh bolted out of the girl's mouth when Shiku asked if she'd been busy, she'd needed a good laugh. Still giggling, the girl shrugged lightly, 'I may have been taking a small break from lots of work' Despite her best efforts, Kaiyo wasn't quite sounding convincing; even though she had actually been working all day.

'It's always a good time for you Shiku' she grinned back; feeling a tingle of shame rush along her spine. It was true, Kaiyo was ashamed; feeling so pathetic and weak and injured, the girl's fighting prowess had been stretched against the strongest opponent she had ever faced. In truth, even Kaiyo didn't know who'd won that fight; it didn't really matter, that aching worry that someone could beat her was enough to fester into panic.

Her bandaged torso was hidden beneath her uniform, but even just sitting down, she was reminded of that pain; familiarised with a light tingle of discomfort. Such a loss from a battle she could have drawn. Kaiyo had awoken a few days later, ready for another fight, and unable to find her best challenger. Of course he couldn't have left alone, he, like her, was in no such fit state. The girl's smile faded, her bright eyes waned as her thoughts turned to such matters. Subconsciously moving her hand to her chest; that had been the largest hit.

The silence finally reached kaiyo from far away, a flush of energy re-filling her lifeless eyes as she smiled back at Shiku. 'Heh, sorry, what did you want to talk about?' Anything to keep her mind off it, just for a little while.

Because Kaiyo could only ignore it for so long. A fight between two such opponents reveals things, un-spoken and definitive desires of the blades that cross paths. A war was coming, and she wasn't even a bit ready for it.

Shikuro stayed silent for the most part, he looked lightly worried for a moment, watching how Kaiyo, just didn't feel the same in some way. He wasn't completly sure how nor why. But he was certain that something had changed since they last spoke. Which makes perfect sence seeing as it had been a while since they've talked face to face. He blinked lightly noticing her touch at the chest, revealing that something definetly had happened, her eyes only clarifyed that fir him.
He shook of the expression of worry, and smiled again.
"Ohh... I can't just come and say hello once in a while???"
He knew he couldn't and it wasn't why he was here either, even Kaiyo seemed to have that figured out by now, times where he and her talked was always cause of a bigger topic.

He took a deep breath, pulling up his feet so he sat nicely with his legs folded under himself. Tilting his head to the side, biting hislip once just to get himself to talk.
"I guess times for that have past lately huh..?"
His worried expression back where it was before, he couldn't help but feel slightly worried about both the future and the current activities around them both, it put alot of stress on Shikuro so it might do the same for Kaiyo.
"Which is more or less what I wanna talk about... But first how are you these days..?"
He smiled brightened up again, only with a slight hint of worry in his mind and expression, he couldn't really surpress it very well at the time, he wasn't really sure why either.

Her lips curled upwards into a chortle, soft and delicate as ever, 'Well i thought my Vice Captain was too busy to come and say hi to his Captain anymore' she smirked, her various leaves of absence have left Shiku picking up the slack, and she'd yet to find a way to truly thank him for it; yet. Her respect for her Vice Captain had grown a lot through the years, and Kaiyo truly counted him as one of the people she could trust and rely upon. That thought alone made her feel happier.

Of course, as she'd expected, things got a bit more serious. Her smile remained, but it was so much more transparent now, so clear that she was smiling at his company alone, and not the topic of conversation. Kaiyo nodded firmly. 'Looks like i'm not the only one who can see things getting worse then'. So far, minor reports of rebel forces had been sweeping in, but more Drama had made it's way into the news the higher ranks were privy to; Captains gone rogue, their subordinates following...Things were looking bleak.

The swift return back to a lighter small talk was anticipated, but the tone had already been set. A slow nod and Kaiyo leant forwards in her chair. Her piercing blue eyes in-flinching in their gaze, directly at Shiku. 'You might have heard...Hell most people felt it, a rebel shinigami appeared recently, and...' The girl lowered her head slightly, a sudden interest in her feet only natural. 'He's strong' Such an admittance might have been a throw-away comment, had it not been for the severity in the girl's demeanour. The fight had virtually destroyed 3 districts, and placed observers into intensive care for getting too close. What that meant, Kaiyo would move onto next, but for the time being; that answered Shiku's question.

'How about you? We haven't spoken in a while, Squad's not been giving you too much hassle i hope' The kindness that Kaiyo natural released always seemed genuine, it was in her nature to like others, but for people like Shiku her smiles had an extra layer. Peeling back to show just how protective of him she was.

Shikuro couldn't help but to chuckle alittle, it was great talking to someone he could consider a friend again, the endless meetings and talks everywhere had left him confussed at time who he was even talking to, first its captain of squad that next the vc captain sometimes its even down to the 5th seat representing their squard. The higher seats being too busy to participate in every meeting. He felt like it was a bit of a disgrace to let the standards drop to lower than the vice captain, so streched himself out to participate in all that Kaiyo couldn't. Stressfull yes, but he could handle it, it was all the names that bothered him.
"Well even if I can't, I miss the times when I could"
He winked slyly, pepping up his own image of confidence and trustworthyness.

He rubbed the back of his head, nodding in agreement to her statement, ofcourse he noticed, if he found anyone saying differend they would have to overly stressed or to stupid to realize. This place weren't the same, people turning when there no where to turn to. Fleeing when there's no reason to than the simple fact someone else does, it was all one big chain reaction.
"Yeah... heard felt and read I might add... alot of reports on that particualr topic"
A deep sigh slipped his lips as he let his hand drop down again. a slight feeling a guilt had rissen on him, though he knew Kaiyo had been wounded he had never actually known how wounded.
"Hey next time, call me in will ya, gotta be there to watch you back right?"
Shikuro smiled confidently, he wasn't worried about if it was dangerous, actually he was more worried that he wouldn't be considered helpfull.
"No matter what you can always count on me all you gotta do is ask"
He blinked lightly, when he was asked about the squad, not that it had been much of a bother. Most of the squard had been happy that 11th squad had been turned into the main law inforcement in the place, it only meant more activity. But ofcourse what they considered good, wasn't always the same for Shikuro.
"Ehm.. well nothing to worry about some are a bit shaken cause of things, other thrilled... you knwo how it is"
He smile genuiant as it was, kept onto his face, it wasn't like the squad had any trouble with him anymore, ofcourse in powers he might not compare to many of the Vice Captians in the past. But he beleives he's proven himself worthy anyway.

Kaiyo nodded firmly, she knew she could rely on Shiku, the issue came at the point where she wanted to protect him more than that; she cared for him, and if he died under her care...That was something Kaiyo just couldn't allow. Her eyebrows raised with a mild interest to what was said about the squad, of course their reactions were normal, but they'd need to keep a better control of such feelings; especially with what was in store for them all.

After that, the lull came, as it did in any such situation that was so desperately clinging to the last few strands of normality. Kaiyo didn't even know the topic, but she was fairly certain she knew the basic idea of things. Slightly anxious about such a deep conversation, Kaiyo leant backwards again, crossing her legs to create a vague barrier between the pair. A quick glance up to the ceiling allowed Kaiyo to collect her thoughts, smiling practically apologetically this time. 'Have you ever killed a shinigami before Shiku? They don't die at all like hollows'. The Captain was of course referring to the rebels; the issue underlying beating the enemy, was lacking the heart to mind killing them.

Shikuro expression got alittle less happy, into a more sad one, ofcourse he had never actually killed Any Shinigami. But that didn't mean he didn't know how they died. All wars have their casualties, not cause he had alot of death next to him, only very few. but even just those few where more than enough to know what Kaiyo was talking about. He bite down on his lip lightly useing one teeth, he thought about it for a moment, as much as this was a question it was sorta also a conversation. Kaiyo seemed to be rather down for some reason.
"Nope can't say that I have... But I have seen a Shinigami die... atleast one or twice"
As much as he would like to forget it, at some point he realized that forgetting would be a dishonor to those fallen so that he would never do.

He took a deep breath allowed some silence to well the room up before he could finally bring himself to continue, even though he felt sad on the topc help but to want Kaiyo happier.
"But you should look on the bright side... as Shinigami you should know, that death doesn't mean an end to their soul"
He smiled lightly hoping just that would make Kaiyo understand cause ofcourse he knew about it, but if he should explain it well... That he wasn't sure he could even do.

Kaiyo didn't want to put too fine a point on it, because she knew that shiku understood what she meant. It wasn't the physical act of death itself that was hard, it was everything that came with it. Killing someone isn't like their there one minute, and gone the next, they usually stay their, clinging to life for as long as they can. Her blue eyes dimmed, their pigmentation swallowing a darker shade of sorrow. Kaiyo lifted her head, her eyes gazing up at the barely visible red line of her bandanna. The girl forced a small smile, not for making herself better, it was more to thank Shiku for trying.

Kaiyo fell back into her chair, practically swallowed up by the cushions as she dropped her head backwards; sighing up at the ceiling before she dropped forwards again. Dragging her hands down along her face, and ending up looking as if she was almost praying. The eyes, a supposed gateway to the soul; sometimes she wondered if she still had one.

'So come on, what is it you wanted to talk about?' There was a slight humour behind Kaiyo's words, as if she was already expecting the very worse, and anything past that line would be just peachy.

Shikuro watched Kaiyo closely, being mildly satishfied that he could atleast cheet her up just alittle, even in the times as they are at the moment. He kept it hidden though his own sadness, not something he was going to show infront of Kaiyo both cause she was his captain, also cause she was his friend. He wanted to be someone she could depend on, at all times. Showing yourself as weak, shows the exact opposite.
He snapped out of his thoughts as the topic moved on. Yes he came their with a topic he wanted to talk about, the whole talk about death almost knocked that out of his priorities. He almost felt like the topic wouldn't really help the ood at the time but he thought now was a time good as ever.

He shaked his head lightly taking a deep breath nodding to Kaiyo question at first, pretty much stalling a bit so he wouldn't talk without thinking it through.
"Uhm yeah... Kaiyo you know everything thats been happening lately... whats your thoughts on that, your honnest ones, not the 'official' ones..."
With that he meant that all had to agree upon some standarts of aligation. who you supported, ofcourse the smart had just said they still where supporting the Soul Society and with that central 46. Ofcourse Shikuro had done the same, but with that he more or less meant, he would protect the soul society from anything, also if that meant fighting what came from within. not that he was sure or anything but things just seemed to rushed, and with the orders being of central 46 he had some doubts. But not nearly enough to act upon, not yet atleast.
He held his head down to the side, not really darring to look over at Kaiyo, cause ofcourse she might be as the official statement said if so he could recieve somewhat of verbal scolding.

Kaiyo watched her Vice Captain carefully as he finally asked her what he'd wanted to, avoiding her own gaze for fear of reprimand. Sometimes it was re-assuring for the Captain that was she wasn't overly predictable. The blonde girl smirked slightly, crossing her legs up on her sofa as she retorted, 'Now when have i ever given an 'official' statement before?'. Naturally, Kaiyo had done, especially when she'd been in a bad mood, but her own reputation also preceded such actions. The 11th squad Captain was known for a few things, as well as her disregard for what she dubbed 'silly' rules, Kaiyo had always tried to remain planted to her own ideals. So a formal response to someone she cared so much about, well to Kaiyo, it would have simply been insulting.

Kaiyo's hand swept gently through her soft hair, her smile fading once more as she replied. The Captain of the 11th squad meant well, she always had, and whilst her own judgment had been clouded before intentions had always been solid. Kaiyo would readily admit she had made many mistakes, and she knew all too well that the road to hell was paved with good intentions. Yet the sad fact remained, that her own mental capacity to full comprehend the levity of why the rebels had gone against Soul Society, well it was probably a larger factor than she would have cared to admit. Of course she didn't understand everything, but she understood not to try to.

'Well, I guess i just want to protect people, and keep them safe. And i've been able to do that because i'm a shinigami; because of the Gotei 13 and the central 46, and i know they're a bit stiff about a lotta stuff, but they seem like the good guys to me. Because they're not the ones starting a war...' Her eyes grew more hollow and her voice colder a she continued. 'People are going to die, and that's a choice we haven't made, they have, all we can do is try to keep the peace, and, sometimes keeping peace means fighting a war.' The girl dropped her gaze to the legs of the table just in front of her. 'It feels like i'm on the right side, but it's starting to get harder to tell who my friends are'. There it was, that innocent little girl, who wanted to desperately to trust others, but who'd been hurt to many times to let herself.

It wasn't a final answer, it was just the best way kaiyo could explain her rattled thoughts on the situation, because she was just hoping she was doing the right thing. And if she wasn't, then she hoped people would forgive her for it.

Shikuro straightened up lightly as it had seemed his words had been chosen poorly, it wasn't alike Shikuro had expected Kaiyo to tell nothing but the truth, he just had no idea how to say it, and it just seemed like it was easier this way.
"Ehh no sorry... didn't mean to offend you or anything"
He smiled lightly, his best intensions was in this conversation, and his best hopes. Hopes that Kaiyo could give him some peace really, these days has really clouded Shikuro mind and judgemenal abbilities. He hated it, and he was usually always ontop of things. But this, this was just too much for Shikuro to go around with alone.

He listened carefully though as it had seemed she wasn't all that mad about the way he asked, greatfully he took it all in to consideration. And ofcourse it wasn't alike the things where very happy or anything nearly like it, but he couldn't help but smile, just barely. Shikuro had gone the last 3 hours or so expecting the worst kind of answer to this question, his inner desiresjust wished for something to relate to, something he could be proud to stand by and support to. He ofcourse had expected so, but that was the Kaiyo he knew. He'd always think he could count on her. but the past few months had shown that what you thought you knew wasn't always like you'd like it to be. He couldn't help but 'fear that Kaiyo might have had some strong relations with the rebels or that she had been convinces something Shikuro couldn't support.

Though after listening to all of Kaiyo's words it seemed like she was just as she had always been, though in Shikuro's eyes this was proberly the most fragile he had ever experienced Kaiyo being, this was not really something that was a thing he enjoyed, but he still smiled, it made her human, not some heroic figure he had once expected all captains to be. though it was a bit darring and out of protokol shikuro couldn't help himself, it just felt right, in a smooth movement he moved over to Kaiyo putting his arms around her, giving her a light hug. yet comforting.
"Thank you... and you can and always will be able to count on me... I promise you that... "
Not that Shikuro didn't want to discuss the other things as they where important to it all, but there was nothing in it, he just... agreed. He felt somewhat the same or atleast close to it, some of the things he haven't really thought about but just Kaiyo's way of putting itmade it all seem so much more simple. and easier. He hugged her for a bit longer, if she'd let him ofcourse, should he feel at anytime she'd feel uncomfterble or any of the sorts, he'd quickly pull back, knowing that what he was doing was kinda over stepping his bounds.

There were few people who's word Kaiyo could so freely believe beyond any disputable doubt; Shiku was one of those people. The girl smiled gently as her Vice Captain leant in an hugged her, it was comforting. The warmth of another person so close to her; wrapping his arms around her. Kaiyo truly counted Shiku as one of her greatest friends and could find no words to explain that to him, not for now at least. The silence between the two wasn't awkward, in fact it was quite the opposite, as though it was needed. The short girl patted her friend on the back and withdrew from his embrace. 'Same to you Shiku- for as long as i live' she beamed. Famous last words.

Kaiyo re-arranged her attire briefly, now more involved in their conversation than ever as she pressed forwards with the matter. Of course Shiku must have had his own doubts over the whole situation, it seemed as though everyone did. So Kaiyo would, if possible, try to relieve some of such worry from her Vice Captain. 'Not thinkin of goin rogue on me then?' she retorted coyly. Though Kaiyo herself had other matters to discuss as well.

Shikuro would slowly withdraw from the hug himself, to him it didn't feel that akwed ofcourse he couldn't speak for Kaiyo, but he didn't think it was that uncomfterble. He smiled gently, it wasn't like he was speakinf empty words here he meant everything. The dreams he once had to become captain was seeming less and less important, as he had grown what he wanted to protect had just changed. He knew he didn't have to aquire some rank to do that, he could do that perfectly fine, where he was right now.
"Thank you..."
He simply smiled, it would proberly take a few moments for him to even realize how spcial it was to be able to do such a thing, it wasn't like a whole lot of people would be this close to Kaiyo.

Shikuro looked quite surpriced, in truth that was never something he had doubted, he would never go rogue the way things where right now, if anything he had doubtes that some relationships Kaiyo might have had would lead her to go rogue.
"I would never, with you till the end"
He could now really rely on those words, now that he knew for surewhere Kaiyo stood, she wasn't especially in league with central 46 or anyone she just supported who she thought to be the good side was. And that was really something Shikuro could easily support.