Memories are all but forgotten (Felix Alone)

[ooc: This is an expansion on Felix's History, more to the point this is how he goes about acquiring his zanpakuto. And yes I know that Soul reapers dont remember their life, but that is a gray area in the debates, and the show as well.]

Walking down the dark tunnel Felix’s thoughts were out of control “What is waiting for me down here that I must face alone?” He whispered to himself his voice bounced off the walls reinforcing his desire to find out. Felix hated secrets even as a small boy, to hide a secret you have to lie and then you have to remember that lie so if asked about later you can lie about a lie, just too much trouble.

Then he saw the light at the end of the tunnel [ooc: no pun intended him being dead and all] and running towards what he thought was the end of the tunnel; he found not the end of his journey but, the first of the four apparent choices he would have to make.

In front of him was four doors made of the same strange stone as the entrance each had its own marking on it and under it, thankfully, was translated in to English. He walked to around reading them aloud as he passed. “Demon way…hallucination…it is dangerous…” feeling the fourth door as it was dimly lit Felix could find no translation, on the strange symbols. “Well guess I’ll save you for last then since I don’t know what you hide behind ya…”

Walking back to the first door he place palm on the center, and this time Felix used the roaring in his mind as his focus. Almost instantly the door gave, the words and symbols lit up “Demon way” he spoke as he peered down yet another dark tunnel this time he could clearly see a well lit room not fifty feet away.

As Felix entered the perfectly round room lit by torches along the wall, other than him though no one else seemed to be in there with him, turning to leave Felix came to a startling realization. The hallway which he came down was gone; there was no way out of. Panic flooded through him, as he thought that this was the end.

“You know, there is only one way out of here and to get there you have to beat me.” A sinister voice replied, manifesting out of thin air. “That is if you can beat me, you know why this is called demon’s way? It is because you have to face your demons, and in this room we take a physical form.

Turning around Felix came face to face…with himself, “This can’t be real, I mean really, I got to fight myself.”

The demon spoke a wicked grin flashed across his face, “You don’t get it do you, I am your biggest demon, you were a thief that thought he was doing right but, you were actually doing harm to others. You never thought of the consequences of your actions and now you have to face me.” Holding his left hand out in front of him the demon spoke one inaudible word and a large sword formed like mist in his hand. “Now you have to make a choice, you can die like a man, or draw out your suffering.” He stabbed at Felix’s gut.

Dodging sideways the sword cut through his shirt so close to his skin that Felix could feel the cold of the steel “I will become a shinigami, I made a promise that I plan to keep…” he said to himself as much as the demon, the roaring in his head was so loud now that if he wasn’t concentrating on hearing words he couldn’t hear anything at all, but strangely enough he thought he could here words through the roar.

“Heh…you did better than I expected dodging that first stab but, I say it was luck. Let’s find out how long your luck can hold out.” The demon sneered, unleashing a barrage of cuts, stabs, slashes and kicks. “You made a promise to someone who you don’t even know; all that sham of a promise is are empty words.”

Felix couldn’t believe the speed at which the demon moved, he could even begin to block all the shots, after the barrage stopped Felix felt as if ever bone in his body had been broken then healed sloppily and then broken again. He fell face down on the cold floor; his clothes were in tatters as he lay there motionless. “I can’t give, I made a promise; even if I don’t remember who she was I promised I’d watch over her…” he told himself, though do to the pain it came out sounding like he was gargling water and blood. The roaring in his head had become an all out storm in his mind his vision was beginning to go. “He says he’s my personal demon but, how can I have a demon when I can’t even remember what I did as a mortal.”

The roaring in his head only got louder but, now he could understand some of the words; “Are you just going to give up and die, you’re not worth being a shinigami. If you don’t have the strength to keep a simple promise you won’t live [ooc: again no pun intended] very long, maybe if you admit your defeat, it will end quickly.” The voice inside his head growled its comments and for an instant Felix considered just lying there and dying.

Then breaking through the fog of his mind he saw that blonde haired girl once again, “I promised I’d watch out for her…for Jamie…” and that is when he broke the mental block. All his memories came flooding back everything he’d ever done good and bad; light and dark. Pushing himself up onto his hands and knees, so that the demon stared surprised, he spoke with renewed confidence in his voice. “I made a promise to my little sister, to Jamie. I said I’d watch over her, and if I die now it would break my last promise to my little sister…”

“SHUT UP!!!” The demon said as he slashed downward hoping to lob off Felix’s left arm.

Grabbing the blade with his bare-hand a dark gray reiatsu surrounded him, “I have to keep this promise.” Felix spoke as he stood on his own two feet, the gray reiatsu radiated brighter as he spoke causing the demon to scream in agony “I haven’t always been a good brother, I lied and stole. Telling myself it was to help my family but, you were right. I was hurting people, robbing them of their hard earned cash sure it got my family through hard times but; what right did I have to force that on others. As far as I can see, I was offered a second chance, and this time I’m not going to screw it up.”

The demon watched with horror as the reiastu moved to surround him, he could feel it sapping away the strength and speed. “Eh…so your finally able to here through the noise in your mind.” His monstrous voice changed into a seductive, persuasive nag “I can tell you what that is; I can teach you how to make it go away. You would be finished in this mediocre task, just invite me in, into your soul and mind.”

As if in response to the demons offer the gray reiatsu became stronger more fierce and protective of Felix for an instant then just as quickly as it retaliated it calmed. “No…I have taken the easy path before and because of it you were created because of it. So as tempting as that offer is I have to decline it.”

“I’m truly sorry to hear that; you would have been an easy partner to manipulate. Now I’ll have to kill you; looks like you won’t be to keep that promise after all.” Trying to pull the sword from Felix’s grip the demon soon realized it would budge from where his hand held it tightly by the blade.

Felix showed no pain as blood flowed onto the blade to drip off and land in a small puddle at his feet; looking down he was surprised by the amount of blood on the floor. “Looks like I’m a disadvantage here see, you have a sword, whereas, I have nothing; only a coward would fight an unarmed opponent with a sword so…” with a flick of his wrist Felix snapped the sword, and though it was only a simple movement, the blade shattered like glass dissolving as it hit the floor. “I’ll even the odds. Now it’s just you and me.”

The Felix witnessed something amazing, as he through his first punch at the demon, at himself the gray aura surrounding became so bright that, for an instant Felix couldn’t see anything. When the light dulled he was staring at an old mirror along its brass sides; words and symbols were written in a scrolling hand reading, “One must face his own demons before any others.” Looking around for any trace of what might have transpired between him and the demon.

Nothing was left of the fight not even blood on the floor; then he noticed that the archway whence he came from was directly behind him. “How can that not be real?” his words echoed off the walls as he realized his body was no longer in excruciating pain. Looking down at his hand he could see the only evidence to what had transpired, along his palm was a small pink scar from where he had gripped the sword.

Turning his back on the mirror Felix started to walk back to the main rotunda of doors, when the roaring returned so suddenly it forced him to his knees. “You…id…ll…may…decen…gami…” was all Felix could make out of the strange voice; before the roaring subsided to just the edge of his mind. Standing he leaned against the sides of the tunnel as he made his way back.

Looking around the main rotunda Felix stared at the two doors with translation under them, “Two left, and then I have to figure out what to do for that one.” He glanced at the mysterious fourth door when he noticed that the first two of the symbols were glowing in a golden light. “Well if I want to find out what’s behind you I guess I better get through your friends here first, huh?” he said talking at the fourth door.

OOC: Part 2 of 4


Walking to the second door he read the translation below the symbols “hallucination…” he breathed placing his palm on the door and focused. Almost immediately the door swung inwards, Felix inhaled a sharp breath as he looked at the scene through the door.

He couldn’t believe it; he was looking at home, his small farm home in ruins burnt to the ground. Standing at the edge of the debris was a figure dressed in a dark suit his shoulders were shaking; which at first he thought the man was crying but, the man tossed his head back letting loose an evil laugh. The eerie sound echoing off the walls becoming louder and louder blocking out everything else…

The dark man turned facing Felix and showing his face, “James…” he spoke hatred dripping off of every letter as they rolled from his lips. As if hearing him James turned smiling that wicked grin that he had seen often in his life. “What have you done?”

“Oh don’t worry, they went ‘up’ quick and besides one of them survived.” He spoke calmly as if death fazed him no more than a mosquito. Then he reached behind him and grabbed a small blonde haired girl that Felix didn’t notice was there. “This one is for you, just kill her and then you will be set for life, I will be your only family. You would never have to settle for the smaller targets anymore; you would have the man power for bigger jobs. You and me, we would live like kings in the slum hole of a state.

“Felix…” the girl spoke weakly, “why did you do this, you always protected me and the rest of our family, why did you kill them Felix why did you kill them.” Tears of rage and sorrow spilled over her eyes as she looked at him. “I’ll never forgive you…as far as I’m concerned I don’t have a big brother anymore.” She threw something that hit him in the foot.

Looking down the shock hit him like a mountain, “Jamie…what happened here? James you’d best get your hand off of her or I will rip off and beat you with it.” Stepping through the doorway he felt the temperature, taking a deep breath of dry air. James or Jamie didn’t show any reaction to his appearance through the archway.

As he walked closer James shoved the girl away from him afraid Felix might keep his promise. Jamie now free just glared at both of them the sheer rage present in her eyes made Felix stop. “You did this…it your fault ma and pa are dead…you killed them I watched you do it so don’t try and lie to me.”

“What are you talking about, I didn’t do anything you remember, I went and saved ma. I told you to go hide in the general store, gave you this in case they questioned you why you were there. Remember I didn’t kill anyone, I saved y’all when you were trapped in the burning house…” Felix trailed off seeing tears coming to his sister’s eyes once again.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what you did I watched you set fire to the house, to your home. I might believe you, if you didn’t wear that suit. I always said you were the best big brother but, now I know it was just an act. I saw the look in your eyes when you lit the match, it almost matched his.” She pointed at James accusingly.

Looking down for the first time Felix noticed his sudden change of wardrobe, he was wearing a dark pinstriped suit; his normally unruly hair was clean and combed. His shoes were polished and he had a feeling if he checked he would find a pistol. “Jamie…trust me, I didn’t do any of that what reason do I have to lie to you. I’m your big brother; I’ve always protected and watched out for you. Remember when you were six and that group of boys stole the candy you got for your birthday, who was it that beat them up and got back your candy for ya? Who was it that taught you how to swim…even though you were afraid?”

Jamie stopped crying for an instant, and looked at him curiously “You did…no one ever bothered me again after you beat those boys and I almost drowned the first time I went swimming but you wouldn’t let me quit.” Then shaking her head, “I watched you though, you shot pa and ma and then set the house ablaze; how do you explain that Felix?”

Taking a knee he place both hands on Jamie’s shoulders “You got to believed me Jamie, I didn’t do any of those things; I can’t prove it to you but, it wasn’t me you know this in your heart it wasn’t me.” He looked her straight in the eyes never flinching.

Then in such a rush that it caught Felix totally by surprise Jamie wrapped her thin arms around him hugging him tightly. “I knew you weren’t really evil, I just knew it.”

“Ah, such a touching reunion; allow me to break that up.” James spoke for the first time since Felix had stepped through the doorway. “Too bad, you won’t have a big brother for much longer.” He spoke as he drew the pistol from its holster point directly at Felix.

“No!” Felix had picked up Jamie turning so that his back was to James. He heard the shot ring in his ears but, nothing else no pain, nothing. “There was no way he could have missed from that range.” He thought then looking down he could see his body laying there in dark suit; he was in his old clothes again. The gray aura swirled around him like a tornado so thick he could barely see anything other than himself.

“Felix!!!” Jamie cried looking at the body below.

“Don’t worry my dear, you’ll join him shortly.” He spoke in a wicked tone as he took aim once more. His finger tightened around the trigger.
Jamie screamed shaking the dead body of her brother, “Please, get up Felix; I need you now please don’t leave me.”

Felix stood in the middle of the tornado the roaring in his head so loud that he could focus on nothing else. The voice started speaking once more through the roar, “…You must see through your fear to find the truth, the truth is the antidote to the poison set in play by the lies you see…” the words echoed in side Felix’s skull as the gray reiatsu stopped spinning; the roaring quieted down to a hum. Leaving Felix to contemplate what he had just heard.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? ‘…see through your fear to find the truth…’” Anger overcame each feature of his body as he yelled, “If that was supposed to help, it didn’t, why should I even listen to you.” He was angry but, something in his gut was telling him that if he didn’t listen to it he wouldn’t make it out alive. “It all right, just calm down and think, Felix, the other door wasn’t straight forward. So what is saying that this room isn’t the same way?”

Closing his eyes as the shot rang through the air Felix noticed something different, the shot had echoed. Opening his eyes Felix looked around; they were in an open field. “How can there be an echo?” Looking at the sky he noticed something odd, the clouds repeated themselves perfectly.

“Mirrors…” he whispered then walking to the sport where James was first standing he reached out to touch the burning remains of what once was his home. They were cold and hard…”Glass? All it is is glass?” Felix whispered amazed by the fact that the whole room was made of mirrors. Then clenching his fist Felix put his entire weight into that punch.

Cracks started forming around his fist slowly creeping all the way up to the clouds. “What have you done, you ruined my world; now I have to kill you.” A hissing voice spoke from behind him, turning Felix saw James staring in horror as the cracks started creeping outward around the room; his eyes so dark know that they had no color.

“I had hoped you would accept the reality I made for you; you would have tasted so much better that way.” James spoke with an odd hiss, as his appearance started to change. His hair and face became a pale mask teeth showing like daggers while the dark suite he had been wearing slowly shifted into dark slime covered scales. His hands had turned into massive claws, the ends pointed so sharply, that while they dragged the ground the path left by them was so fine that Felix had failed to notice it in the first place.

“What are you? Another one of my inner demon, what is it that I have to learn to kill you realize that I can’t let my ties to the living follow me, something along those lines?” Felix’s sarcastic tone seemed to provoke the hollow as it charge forward claws aimed at his chest. Felix barely managed to dodge to the right as the claws whizzed passed by his ear.

“You would do well to not to provoke the hunter, especially when you’re the prey.” The hollow spoke as he swipe outward missing Felix by a hair “I am no illusion like your pathetic inner demon; the only way out of here is for one of us to die. Heh…you’re lucky that I like a challenge, so I am going to even the playing field.” Breaking off one of his claws the hollow tosses at Felix’s feet the missing claw grew back almost instantly. “That ought to even it up a bit, and I don’t have to feel guilty, that you didn’t stand a chance.” The hollow threw its head back and gave a gurgling laugh.

Felix looked at the claw, then stomping his food in the center he made a crude hand hold “You might regret this later” was all he said as he picked his clued weapon. The claw was about the size of an ancient shield and twice as heavy as he picked it up with a little struggle, not wasting a moment the hollow lunged claws extended to their full length aimed right at Felix’s chest.

He barely managed to lift the makeshift shield in time to keep the claws from ripping through him like paper; the force of the blow sent him skidding backwards. Looking at his shield, Felix saw a thin crack where the claws had hit with full force. “Damn, I can’t a hit like that anymore or this shield is going to shatter.” He thought studying the creature, it moved like a giant cat taunting him; preferring to play and toy with him drawing out his suffering.

“If I’m going to kill a cat I got to be able to move faster.” He thought placing his makeshift shield on the ground to stomp off the sides to make a thin elongated dagger then picked it up with greater ease. “Now let’s have some fun…” he said with a wicked grin charging forward with surprising speed.

The hollow saw Felix running with his broken claw held high like a sword, “Finally the fun begins…” swiping to the right the hollow would try and bat him around a bit first. “That claw of mind becomes very brittle once you first crack it, like you did so carelessly with you foot.” The hollow stated the obvious to Felix.

Seeing the swipe Felix jumped, he was surprised by how far he had flown in the air but, was quickly thrown to the ground, the snarling beast was right above him pinning his leg to the ground. “You may not taste as good without the despair marinating your soul, but pain is always good.” The monster raised his claw, slowly raking them down Felix’s chest.

Felix wasn’t about to give the monster his thoughts reeled as the beast started cutting him open, “I will not give this monster what he wants, there has to be a way out of this.” His fingers wrapped around the broken claw as he stared at the beast its mouth was starting to open as it leaned close.

“Any last words, or are you finally going to scream before I eat you?” The hollow rasped, “You have put up quite a fight, in fact I haven’t had this much fun in years, but like all things this too must end.” Lunging down the hollows mouth was wide as it prepared to eat Felix.

With reflexes faster than he thought possible Felix had taken the claw and stabbed the hollow through the roof of its mouth, “You were right all things must end, but not my story. I am sorry but for my story to begin yours must end.” With all the strength he could muster, Felix gave the claw one more push forcing it deep into its skull as the beast started to evaporate around him.

The gray reiatsu started to swirl once more as did the splitting headache “You have…ne well…but…st trail….decides…all.” The pain still didn’t subside as the voice stopped; it kept growing until it caused Felix to black out.