| Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread | |
|
|
Author | Message |
---|
Follow the Morrigan
Number of Posts : 110 Age : 33 Location : Somewhere cold Job/Interests : Job: I have (technically) five jobs, and one paycheck. / Interests: Cardfight, Daughter, RPGs Quote : No, she doesn't have a dirty diaper. She just farted. Registration Date : 2011-11-26
| Subject: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:06 pm | |
| Character Name: Remington Gravelle Username: Follow the Morrigan Link to Character Bio: Remington GravelleCurrent Rank: Rank 1 Current Exp: 8/30 - Spoiler:
Last edited by Follow the Morrigan on Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:30 pm; edited 14 times in total | |
|
| |
Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440 Age : 43 Location : Here, but there Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything Quote : You were close, but I was right Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Fri Jun 08, 2012 2:14 pm | |
| Forty year rejection: [5/10]
I'm sure everyone saw the length and ran for the hills. Don't let the size fool you it's a standard introductory thread. We meet some NPCs that populate the Academy while learning abit about Mr Remington. Some comedy ensues. All and all a nice thread. I finished the first read last night and finished the 3rd today. (sorry for the wait) Some comments: Ankou. Gina said it when she left and then Janet used it with her shikai release. Not sure if Ankou meant something or not (another language), or if it was an error/typo. The other comment is the gun you employ. If you wish for it to an official tool for your character should be submitted in an invention thread. All is well otherwise.
Last edited by Arawn on Fri Jul 06, 2012 1:01 am; edited 1 time in total | |
|
| |
Follow the Morrigan
Number of Posts : 110 Age : 33 Location : Somewhere cold Job/Interests : Job: I have (technically) five jobs, and one paycheck. / Interests: Cardfight, Daughter, RPGs Quote : No, she doesn't have a dirty diaper. She just farted. Registration Date : 2011-11-26
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Wed Jul 04, 2012 11:22 pm | |
| | |
|
| |
Junko
Number of Posts : 521 Age : 28 Registration Date : 2010-10-30
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:48 am | |
| I like you.
6/10 Challenge the Shock Spear. | |
|
| |
Follow the Morrigan
Number of Posts : 110 Age : 33 Location : Somewhere cold Job/Interests : Job: I have (technically) five jobs, and one paycheck. / Interests: Cardfight, Daughter, RPGs Quote : No, she doesn't have a dirty diaper. She just farted. Registration Date : 2011-11-26
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Sat Jul 07, 2012 12:32 am | |
| | |
|
| |
Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440 Age : 43 Location : Here, but there Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything Quote : You were close, but I was right Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:28 am | |
| In need of a nemesis: [4/10]
I enjoyed the thread for the most part, but then I started to scratch my head. The setting is kido sparring. Honestly I would never take part in such a practice. It's like if gun training require you have duels with live ammo. Seems insane. That aside the confusion arose as Grav started to show off. It was the contradiction of the spells. Hado #1 is a push, and #2 is a pull. How is that the pull moves the caster? Yet later it's used without that effect. Pulling and pushing your sword without pulling/repelling yourself. And still later it's used to increase speed while running toward a wall? The target it the focus and the caster is not tethered to that action. Another point of interest is the rapid fire/mixing of spells. Unfortunately that is a skill reserved for higher Tech. It was put in place mainly to avoid such things from occurring. | |
|
| |
Follow the Morrigan
Number of Posts : 110 Age : 33 Location : Somewhere cold Job/Interests : Job: I have (technically) five jobs, and one paycheck. / Interests: Cardfight, Daughter, RPGs Quote : No, she doesn't have a dirty diaper. She just farted. Registration Date : 2011-11-26
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Mon Jul 09, 2012 11:31 am | |
| | |
|
| |
Hibiki Jishin
Number of Posts : 71 Age : 29 Registration Date : 2012-01-18
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Mon Jul 09, 2012 1:41 pm | |
| Aftermath with Osu: 6/10
I love the way you tell a story. It's somewhat macabre and light at the same time, great job. My only qualms are preludes. There's not really a whole lot of explanation of characters, or reasonings for events that take place, like, who is Osu, why were you fighting, etc? The witch and the curse and so on are all understandably vague, as Remington doesn't seem to understand them much either. other than the feel of an incomplete story, please, carry on and don't change a thing. Welcome to Rank 1. Stats please?
*Hands the prize bottle of Pepto* | |
|
| |
Follow the Morrigan
Number of Posts : 110 Age : 33 Location : Somewhere cold Job/Interests : Job: I have (technically) five jobs, and one paycheck. / Interests: Cardfight, Daughter, RPGs Quote : No, she doesn't have a dirty diaper. She just farted. Registration Date : 2011-11-26
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:41 am | |
| | |
|
| |
Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440 Age : 43 Location : Here, but there Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything Quote : You were close, but I was right Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:00 pm | |
| Making enemies left and right: 5/10
It's a decent set up being in a gym. I had a sudden vision of the workout area back when I was in highschool (haven't been to a gym since) I see why you initially wanted this as a training thread. The focus on the strength building in the start seemed obvious enough. The second part reminded me of the old comic book ad where the skinny guy goes to the beach and some guy kicks sand on him. He goes home and buys some muscle building guide and comes back and beats the guy up. Classic. So that's this, but no running home bit. A point of interest;
- Quote :
- Unfortunately, she was leaning against a pillar in the room and swinging a two-hundred-pound weighted disc back and forth with some ease; he was struggling to load a fifty-pound weight onto another machine.
Gravelle is made to look weak, but trying to improve himself. In the next instant he's a fierce fighter that lays the man low. I've done some things while angry so I guess it's possible. The way you portrayed Gina was that she was stronger and yet she gets pushed around. They ignore Gina's words, pull their weapons on her, and Gravelle ends up protect/championing her. Saying she can handle herself, but then she pretty much doesn't handle anything. | |
|
| |
Follow the Morrigan
Number of Posts : 110 Age : 33 Location : Somewhere cold Job/Interests : Job: I have (technically) five jobs, and one paycheck. / Interests: Cardfight, Daughter, RPGs Quote : No, she doesn't have a dirty diaper. She just farted. Registration Date : 2011-11-26
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:23 am | |
| | |
|
| |
Follow the Morrigan
Number of Posts : 110 Age : 33 Location : Somewhere cold Job/Interests : Job: I have (technically) five jobs, and one paycheck. / Interests: Cardfight, Daughter, RPGs Quote : No, she doesn't have a dirty diaper. She just farted. Registration Date : 2011-11-26
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:55 pm | |
| | |
|
| |
Arawn
Number of Posts : 3440 Age : 43 Location : Here, but there Job/Interests : Anything, but not everything Quote : You were close, but I was right Registration Date : 2010-06-23
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:53 pm | |
| Sentenced: [3/10]
Rather short. The title says it all; Gravelle gets sentenced. It fufills the purpose you intended, but nothing else. Worst part is can't really feel sympathy for the character as he expresses no remorse for his actions and acts rather cocky. Even if those judging him "hate him" he comes off sounding like a bigger prick.
Put your list of threads in a spoiler since that's what's going to happen eventually as time progresses. Don't need to really list them at all, but I figure you want to show the chronology of all your threads. | |
|
| |
Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread | |
| |
|
| |
| Remington Gravelle Rank Up Thread | |
|