To Survive

The night was bright as the full moon sailed its nightly journey through the sky as Felix Pyre lay in the grass watching the stars as he had done so often in his forgotten life before. “The moon is bright tonight so I can’t rest easy as wilder things than I hunt at night, and seeing as I can’t start a fire for fear of attracting people that are even more fearsome than any beast I would meet in the mortal world.” Hearing the sound of something snap near the entrance to the small clearing Felix was on his feet in an instant his sword dangling upside down from his back.

“Who’s there? Show yourself now; I promise no harm will come to you.” He snarled as his left hand slowly reached back for the hilt of his sword as another sound broke the uneasy silence behind him followed by three more from either side of him. Crap…surrounded…how did they find me so quickly and on top of that how did they get so close without running into the nasty surprises I left in the woods.

As his sword slid free from its scabbard Felix swore under his breath knowing that one rogue who escaped the mental reeducating of the Academy to flee to the world of the living stood no chance against a full reaper or by the sounds of it a team of reapers. With the blade in one hand Felix pounced at the next sound his free hand grabbing a hand full of hair as he forced one of the stalkers into the tree. It yelped and snarled as it tried to bite him, Felix was holding a timber wolf and the wolf was none too happy. Letting it go he sighed in relief “Just a wolf…” Turning around he swore as five wolves now crept closer thinking they had an easy meal. “…or a pack of wolves.”

As the first pounced Felix ducked hearing it thud into tree as he drove an elbow into its fragile ribs as it yelped once more falling to the ground. “I think that after this I am going to make a new coat.” Felix goaded even though his opponents couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying. Felix stood his ground waiting for the beasts to make their move.

The seconds felt like hours as the tension built until as one the wolves moved; their moves complementing one and other as they moved in what appeared to be harmony. Felix tried to duck the first two as the last two manage to knock him to the ground. One sank its teeth his shoulder, the teeth feeling like fire. [i]So this is how it ends for me…or well is this how it begins…is there a life after the after-life? I escaped the reapers only to be taken out by wolves. He could feel the heat from their bodies as he smiled ready for death to finally relieve him from his burden, he could tell the beasts next move would be the fatal strike as it growled then moved to sink its teeth into his neck…

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Felix eyes snapped open as he sat up the sun burning his face as it took his mind a few moments to process what had just happened. “It was a dream…no a nightmare” Felix reached to check his neck to make sure the marks of teeth weren’t there only to greeted by the feeling of a rough scar across his neck from his previous life. After so long in the spiritual world still I have no idea what this is from, is this how I died before or maybe a birthmark? Looking around his camp ground Felix frowned at the evidence of creatures that wandered through while he slept so soundly. Anyone of these could have been my death and yet I slept so deeply that I didn’t hear one of them.

Getting to his feet he grabbed his sword and through it onto his back upside down and started to head for the sounds of a road, he needed to make it to a city first from there he would worry about a gigai. As he made it to the road he started to head towards the sun along the side of path. Felix was prepared to go as far as it took to keep from being found. He would survive no matter the cost, his only goal was to protect those who couldn’t see the tyranny of the soul society.

Ren was walking along the side of a road as the sun was high in the sky, she was not sure where she was. Suddenly she felt the SP of a Shinigami with her ears perked up she hid in a bush which unfortunantly was a Sticker bush. She let out a small yelp and quickly got out of it, one would laugh at this but Ren was not laughing.With the small spicky balls "sticking" to her she turned her head to see several on her back. With a growl of frustration she reached for the closest one.

Felix was about three hours into his journey on the side of the road when he caught a glimpse of the cat-like creature that jumped into a sticker bush. Chuckling he jogged a forward only to see the creature hop out of it with a yelp. Not very bright for a beast is it? His thoughts drifted as he chuckled, it was then that he saw the mask that the beast wore upon its face. “Hollow…” his words were almost a hiss as he instinctively reached for the hilt of his blade, though something made him stop as he looked the beast over.

“You know that doesn’t look very comfortable…” Something told him that he had a few run ins with stickers when he was alive himself and he winced from the shadow of a pain. “If you promise not to attack me while I help you I can get those out of your fur, though after that my actions all depend on you…you attack me I will try my best to kill you.” Everything he had was telling him to slay this hollow before it tried to eat him and to avenge the ones it had already killed, but still something else inside of him was saying that it was just as lost and confused as he was.

“So what do you say why not let me help you?” Felix smiled with sincerity as he reached to grab one of the stickers.

Ren's body became tense as she heard a voice from behind without thinking she turned around and bit what or whoever it was. Without relizing it she had her eyes closed when she opened them she saw a Shinigami and he had offered to help her out. Ren quickly opened her mouth and licked the injured hand to say she was sorry. "I'm so sorry, are you ok? I reacted before thinking. Sorry." she said with an appoligetic look on her. She hoped that the Shinigami would not attack her after her apology. "Also I would like your help." she replied looking away as if she was blushing from embarressment.

Felix saw what was happening in slow motion as he tried to draw his hand back when the creature turned its head to snap in defense. Just as his nightmares before he felt the flame of her bite on his skin before she let go. Cringing in pain he looked at his now bloodied hand, before she started to apologize. “It’s okay I swear I have had worse done.” He said keeping a polite face so as not to upset the hollow. Why is this hollow so odd, it is almost as if it has a conscience and a genuine concern for the things and people around it and affected by it.

Ripping off a segment of his sleeve he quickly wrapped his hand in the makeshift bandage and held it up to show her. “See no harm done. Now let us get those burs off of you, that can’t be very pleasant.” Felix started to pull the burs one after another from the beasts soft fur. “So do you have a name?” he asked still trying to avoid the fact of mentioning the awkwardness of a reaper helping a hollow.

So as not to seem rude he answered his own question first. “My name is Felix by the way…though the other reapers prefer to call me by my last name…Pyre.”

Ren tilted her head in confusion, What an odd name. she thought. "Your name is Prey? Like a mouse is the prey of a cat?" she asked. Wel she has seen things even more strange, like herself for instance. Ren laughed at herself, "My name is Ren; Ren Zugaikostu. I'm somewhat of a friendly hollow." she explained to the Shinigami.She twiched when he pulled out the last of the Stickers; with a small yelp she stood up and shook herself glad to be rid of the spicky balls.

Felix chuckled at the hollow’s mispronunciation of his name with a polite smile, as his thoughts started to drift to the face of a little girl from his dreams. Like cold water hitting a flame his expression became guarded and hard. Why is it she reminds me of that girl? A girl whom I know nothing of myself, except I feel that I am supposed to know her. his mind snapped back to the moment at hand as he finished his thoughts aloud, “I will remember if it is the last thing I do, I swear I will.”

Focusing back on the hollow he quickly smiled again “No no…Ren…it is Pyre…like fire ‘cept with a P instead of an F, and I am more than happy to help.” He reached out to run his hands through her few pulling the burrs out one by one as he found them. “You know back in the prison they call an academy they told us you were all bloodthirsty monster, creatures that lived only to devour souls even other hollows in order to get stronger.” Felix paused realizing he was starting to ramble he took a deep breath.

“I am sorry about that I tend to ramble when I am piecing a puzzle together it helps sometimes, but I have to know Ren, why are you different? I mean the others I have met of your kind attacked me at first sight; none have tried to run and hide let alone allowed me to help them out of this rather embarrassing situation.” He kept his hands busy as he ran his hands through her fur one last time to make sure it was clear then moved to her head and went about trying to remove the burrs painlessly as possible.

With his mouth acting faster than his mind Felix blurted out one last question, “Is that mask really meant to protect ‘the bare instinct’ of your soul?” His mind was teeming with questions but he forced himself to stop as he focused on what he was doing, knowing that he was being a busybody asking questions of a personal nature.

Ren was baffled by the Shinigami's talking she did not know what to say at the moment. She was lost in her own thoughts of what had happened the other day(ooc: read "More Hollow than you Think.) with a sad sigh she heard Pyre's last question. I do not know. I take it that you are a Rouge Shinigami then? Why am I even bothering with this conversation?!" She got up and walked a few feet away from Pyre, she sat down with her tail wraped around her. "Maybe I'm just ment to be alone! I wish I never even went to that place!" she said angerily maening to think it not say it. Ren took her paw and swiped the remaining Stickers off her head.

Felix was taken aback a little confused by the hollow’s outburst, but he sensed that something was bothering her; something told him that even though Ren said she “…was meant to be alone…” that she needed someone now more than ever. Walking over beside her he sprawled out on the grass beside her.

Looking up at the sky he idly answered her question in a roundabout way, “I am not aligned with any one squad or person in the soul society, if that is what you are asking. I still hunt hollows, but only if they make a serious problem of themselves…you know the type…the ones that kill children or attack women who a pregnant because they love the taste of a newborn soul?” Felix stole a side long glance at Ren before he continued.

“I grew up in the Rukongai to us reapers were nothing more than self righteous tyrants that only ventured from their white castle when one committed a crime against them personally. When I was chosen to become a reaper I made a promise to not be one of them, but when I went through their academy I learned why they were like that. The academy was brainwashing us to make everyone think that because of the position we know held we were better, when I figured it out well I ran and kept running…” He paused as he sat up, “…and I have been running for the past three years.”

Reaching out he gently touch the soft fur between her shoulders, “So Ren…if you would like some company for a while I can guarantee that you won’t be alone…I would be more than happy to have someone to talk to on my travels, at least till the reapers decide my time as an escaped prisoner is at an end and they either drag me back or kill me.”

Ren's body tensed up when she felt Pyre's hand on her shoulder, he had just finnished telling her about his life in Soul Sociaty. When he said that he would join her in her travels she broke down in tears, "How do I know if I can trust you? You may be a Rouge but you're still just a Shinigami, you may attack me once my back is turned." she spat, she was still thinking about Bishamon; she was not right to take out her anger on Felix. "I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you it's this other Shinigami I met. He is now my prey. And I would like it if you would join me." she said.

Ren looked at the sky and saw a bird flying, this gave her an idea. With a smile on her face she turned to Felix, "Want to see something cool? she asked waiting for his awnser.

“I won’t hurt you, you can take my word for it, but if that is not enough here” He lifted his sword over his head and knotting the strap a bit he slid it onto her back gently. “This way I can only get to my sword when you allow it Ren.” Felix smiled admiring his work with the knots before he chuckled, “It would be my honor to travel with you on your journey little odd hollow.”

Following her gaze he stared at the bird in the sky, “Sure let’s see.” Felix said with a smile. I feel more at home with a hollow than I have felt in all the years that spent in the company of humans. Am I ill or am I different? Perhaps I am like hol- Ren... Even though he liked Ren as a friend and possibly a companion his training still made it hard for him to think of her as more than a hollow, he would have to work on that.

Finishing his thoughts aloud Felix said quietly “What an odd pair we make a reaper and a hollow friends…”

Ren stood very still not knowing what Felix was doing he had given her his Zanpaku-to saying, “This way I can only get to my sword when you allow it Ren.” she let out a small chuckle "You know you will be defencless right, Felix?". When she heard that he wanted to see what she wanted to show him she c oncentrated hard with a growl of power she created her Aura wings. With the sun shining on them the wings casted a reflection on the dusty floor almost like water. Turning to Felix she asked,"Would you like to go for a ride?"

“Wow they’re…wow” Felix was speechless as he stared at the wings that Ren had sprouted the sun shining through them as if they were made of stained glass. Reaching out without thinking to ask he ran the tips of his fingers along the edges, “They are beautiful…” he said with barely more than a whisper. Drawing his hand back he bowed apologetically, “I am so sorry that was rude of me it is impolite to touch a person without permission and kind of creepy.”

When Felix heard Ren ask if he wanted a ride his face went hard, “No, I prefer keeping my feet firmly on the ground besides if I did that I would be in reach of my blade how could you trust me?” he chided defensively not wanting to admit he was afraid of flying when he wasn’t in control of his travels.

“What are they made of, the wings I mean?” He asked changing the subject.

Ren watched as Felix touch her Aira wing and laughed as he apoligized and said that it was rude of him. He-he. It's ok Felix They are made of Aura. Well it is hard to explain what Aura is but basicly it is in everything. From a human to a rock even spirits have aura." He declined her on the offer to go for a ride and he was right he would be able to attack her from the air and she would have a hard time to defend herself. Then again he may be afraid to be up high. Well flying is not for everyone. she thought with a grin on her face.

"I want to give you something Felix. I hope we can be friends." she said as she reached for an Aura feather but stopped as she was close to it. Memories of her giving one to Bisha flooded into her mind, with a low growl she shouted to the sky, "You stupid idiot!" Ren blinked as she remembered that Felix was still there; in a panic she quickly appoligized, "Ah! I'm so sorry! It's not you that I'm calling the Idiot it is another Shinigami! Here." Quickly she broke off a peace of the "feather" and gave it to Felix.

Felix reached out carefully after hearing her growl and took the crystalline feather and pierced it proudly through the left side of his robe displaying it proudly. “So who is this other reaper that hurt you so badly?” he asked as he crouched down resting his hands on his knees so he could look her in the eyes with a genuine look of concern in his eyes, as his voice took on that reminiscent of the older brother he was in a past life.

Felix didn’t expect her to answer so instead he did what he felt was right, “I know words don’t mean much Ren, especially from a stranger, but I promise you that as long as you are my friend that any who wish to harm you will have to step over my lifeless body to do so.” With that he moved in to hug her tightly around the neck hoping she wouldn’t misread this act of kindness.

Quickly letting go he smiled a little uncomfortable with himself for being so open, “Ren I am sorry, but don’t think my actions rude it is just that you remind me of…” he stopped trying to find the words. She reminds me of that little girl…the one from my dreams…the one from that other life…who was she to me? A friend no she was too comfortable around me who was older than herself; a daughter maybe well that makes sense but you would think the fact that I had a daughter would carry over with me when I died.

Coming back to the world at hand Felix shook his head to hide the tears of frustration, “You remind me of a girl I knew once upon a time, or at least I think I knew her. I see her in my dream she is always happy and smiling and I know I would do anything to protect her, even if it meant dying a thousand deaths.”

Ren went numb again when Felix huged her but he quickly let her go and she listened to what he had to say. He told her that she remined him of someone he knew when he was alive, befor that he asked her who had hurt her. The strange thing was she already trusted him almost like an older brother. Then for no reason she started crying ran up to him and baried her head in his chest unable to speak unable to stop herself.

After a few minutes she stopped crying. "Forgive me. I don't know what that was it must of been strange to see a hollow to cry for no reason. I don't want to talk about it." she said not wanting to remember Bishamon. She looked away into the distance.

Felix wrapped his arms protectively around Ren when she buried her head in his chest and started to sob, without saying a word he gently stroked her back trying to comfort her. “Ren its fine you have nothing to apologize for the past is the past. Let it stay buried where it belongs, okay?” He wanted so badly to move but something from his past told him that it would make her feel better if he just stayed where he was.

“So I guess you and I are friends huh or do you go around burying you head in guys chests?” he said rather jokingly, “You don’t have some strange power where your tears turn a man into your slave do you?” Felix smiled as he hugged her trying to lighten the mood.

Feeling a bit of her fur brush the scar across his neck he froze a look of panic on his face as he remembered the feeling of a rope on his neck before he felt the strangulation from being pulled across rocks and gravel. His breaths were coming in short ragged breaths as he let his arms drop from around Ren his eyes not focused as he relived that one horrible memory that he did have.

Felix grabbed the sides of his neck as if he was in pain. with a frightened gasp Ren asked, "Felix what's wrong? Are you alright?" Ren watched helplessly as Felix closed his eyes in pain. What should I do? Wait I know.

Taking in a deep breath Ren tried to relax and began to sing,

Ikutsu namida o nagashitara
Every heart
Sunao ni nareru darou
Dare ni omoi tsutaetara
Every heart
Kokoro mita sareru no darou

Nagai nagai yoru ni obieteita
Tooi hoshi ni inotteta

Meguru meguru toki no naka de
Bokutachi wa ai o sagashiteiru
Tsuyoku tsuyoku naritai kara
Kyou mo takaisora miageteiru



Ooc: This is the site for the song. More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/boa/#share
Also here is the vidio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTzXTsTNQxw

He could hear singing as an angelic voice slice through his nightmare pulling him back to the less painful reality, shaking his head Felix was found himself still face to face with Ren. “Yeah I am fine just an old nightmare…” he said his voice still a little shaken from the memory. “…I think it is the day I died though I can’t remember it clearly enough to recall names I have this to remind me it wasn’t just a nightmare.” Felix straightened his neck and gestured to the dark scar of the rope on his throat.

She is probably going to ask you what happened, and that is her right, but still I don’t want to admit how much I really don’t remember of my past. Maybe she won’t ask and if she doesn’t I don’t have to answer her. Quickly trying to avoid any questions she might have he smiled, “You have a beautiful voice though Ren, it was all I heard that forced that nightmare to end, thank you.” Felix bowed politely to the feline, “I am in your debt.” Straightening up Felix reached out and scratched her ears before looking frustrated, “I just wish I knew who it was you reminded me of…just a name why can’t I remember that?”

Ren turned away when Felix complamented her, "It was nothing. I'm just glad that you ok." she said grining. She thought back to when she was alive they were nothing but sad memories, some of them were good but mostly sad.
Ren got up and started to walk, "Do you remember where you used to live Felix, I remember that I was born in Karakura town. Maybe if we go there we might get some awnsers, what do say?" Ren waited for Felix's reply.

Felix frowned when she asked about his past, “Well Ren the only thing I remember is what comes to me in my nightmares, and those memories are none to pleasant “ he frowned as Ren got to her feet and started to walk toward the that place she mentioned. “Kurakara town huh, heard all about it in the academy never thought I would make it there, but if you wish to go there then I will happily travel with you.” Getting to his feet he caught up with Ren in a few quick strides and then slowed his pace to match hers as they headed for the city. “You know this is going to be very boring if you don’t sing more.” He said with a smile.