Burrakumun Josho

Shinigami

Name: Burrakumun Josho

Age: 315 although he appears to be 16

Height: 5’9

Weight: 64.5kg

Gender: Male

Personality: Burrakumun may be young but as a human he got into plenty of fights and knows how to stay calm in the midst of an intense battle but he can lose that control in an instant if he loses focus.

Appearance:Burrakumun has hair that is as silver as the blade he wields, with eyes that are as black as night. He stands with an air of command, ready to take charge when given the opportunity, he is a stable warrior having spent years traing his body, which is carved with the deep lines of his muscled body.

Sealed Zanpakutō : Burrakumun’s Zanpakutou takes the shape of a 5’7 katana sheathed across his back with the guard taking the shape of a star mixed with a cross.

Each character gets 60 skill points to assign to either:

Spirit power: 16

Speed: 17

Intelligence: 13

Fighting skill: 14

History/Background:Burrakumun was born in a small farming village, so he like all children had to work on the farm as well as attend school. Burrakumun didn’t take long to notice that he wasn’t the same as the other children, in both appearance and abilities. Although he was still the average height and weight of the others his hair was silver while the others was brown and his eyes were so dark that they looked black as night. As well as his physical differences he could do things the other children couldn’t and he saw the world in a different way to them. Burrakumun also liked to test himself by getting into fights at school. He soon became known for being the best fighter and then he started to fight the older , more experienced kids once Burrakumun hit secondary school he knew that simply fighting to keep fit wouldn’t help much so he would often be in the woods lifting and throwing large rocks and although in the end he didn’t possess the bulging muscles that the other boys had, he was still the strongest and possessed an air of command. That summer as Burrakumun trained in the forest the men that were jealous of Burrakumun’s skill decided to teach him a lesson by sneaking up behind him with a rock and smashing him over the head with it. They thought that it had knocked him out but they killed him.
When he woke he was in a strange place. Some people told him that he was the Rukongai which is in the spirit realm called the Soul Society. Burrakumun eventually accepted the fact that he was dead, and although they murdered him, Burrakumun never held a grudge against those men. It was then that he heard about the soul reaper academy and decided to try to make it as a Shinigami.

Rp sample: As Burrakumun stood shivering in the world of the living for a training session against dumby hollows, he slowly drew his zanpaktou leaping to the side as the hollow burst from a wall. Not expecting the attack, Burrakumun was thrown off balance. Damn it. Gotta be prepared better next time.with a fierce battle cry he leaped into the air and came crashing down intending to cleave the hollows head from behind. As he landed there was a massive explosion of dust froim the force of his collision. When the dust settled Burrakumun couldn't see the hollow anywhere. Good that was easier then-.[i]His thoughts were cut off as the hollow burst from under his feet cutting him across the brow. As the blood dripped to the ground Burrakumun lost control. Loosing an intense war cry he charged the hollow surprizing it. as it blocked attack after attack, Burrakumun's rage only increased, making his attacks stronger until he cut straight through the hollows claw and cleaved it in half. As he finished his battle he went back to the rendezvous point quite pleased with himself. When he arrived hw discovered that he was the first to defeat his foe. Good, at least i know that im the best fighter here too.[i]

Okay first off, give us more detail on appearance at least a paragraph. Next all Soul reapers start off as students at the academy till rank one and they do not gain access to shunpo till Rank 2.

I would also like to see a lot more detail in describing your personality and zan, and a bit more history couldn't hurt you. So says Artemis the slacker Moderator

ok i fixed those things up is there anything else that i need to fix?

Please add more to the personality, personality is what gives you depth to your character and yours seems to be a 2d paper doll in a world of humans. Also take a look at your Rp sample it looks like you foo-barred your coding somewhere.