Poem

Clouds rip through the sky, what wonders will unfold
Prepare yourselves to die, unless you do what you're told.
The rain waits for no man, Stand even if you can't.
The echo cries of victory, chants of gallantry.
Step forth the ground, Endure the storm.
The rain waits for no man.
Nor does the battle..
Commence and fight, strong and able.

When I survey this barren, bleak, cold place
My memories sting like drops of acid rain
The pain still lingers with a bitter taste –
Just how can I remove this stubborn stain?

Indiscriminate bullets pierce the sky
Bloodcurdling screams and echoes split the night
No longer could I hear myself cry
I've fallen, cold and lifeless – sickening sight

As I survey this barren, bleak, cold place
My memories burn like soaked in acid rain
The pain still lingers with a bitter taste
I know I can't remove this stubborn stain

Enough to make one wonder why we exist
If all we live for in life just comes to this..

You see no mark upon my skin
You see no tear in my eye
You see no sign of pain
Therefore I must not be in pain

I must not cry myself
To sleep at night
Or wake up screaming
Because of haunted dreams
I must not pull the blade
Across my skin
And hope that one day
It drives in deeper
I must not fear the darkness
Or shudder at the thought of silence
I must not hide myself from
Life and prying eyes that
Judge your worth as a person
Upon the shine of your smile

You hear no gasp escape my mouth
You hear no horror tale from my past
You hear no words of pain
Therefore I must not be in pain

I must not scream so loud it's silent
Or throw things against my bedroom walls
I must not kick and scream
And punch things that no one else can see
I must not drown myself
In the brown bagged bottle
In the hopes that i will forget
Or tie the rope around my neck
And pray i find the courage to
Pull it tighter


You don't see or hear my pain
Therefore you think I feel no pain
You see what I choose for you to see
You hear what I choose for you to hear
You know not what he did to me
You know not what she did to me
You know not what you did to me
You know not the pain I feel
You know only what I want you to know
But just because you do not see or hear it
Does not mean that the pain is not there
Locked away inside of me..
Where it will always be.

Sit and talk all night,
Shiver and quarrel, cuddle and laugh.
Endless nights, followed by short lived days,
Hair in my face, tears in my eyes,
And then I saw you.

Face hidden away,
Time hasn't been kind.
Wear your beauty with pride, dear,
You're worth more than you know.

Wake up laughing, go to bed crying,
Ticking thoughts, not fair to you,
But hold your chin up high,
You're beautiful to me.

You walk away,
Holding on and letting go at the same time,
I wait for you,
I wait for you to notice my love.
I wait for you to believe.

Are you really listening?
Are you really understanding?
Are you really feeling?

Kiss a glassy memory goodbye,
Periwinkle-dusted imagery.
Sound a heartbreaking melody.

Maybe I was someone born in pessimism.
Maybe the heavy rain wasn't a pouring shower,
Maybe we got lost in heaven.

Paint with tears on a canvas,
Monochromatic idealism.
Play a melancholic piano.

I guess our bonds were only held with tape,
I guess our dreams never reached eternity,
I guess our word was meaningless.

The car was speeding down,
The thunder getting louder,
The black clouds swirling,
As I try to hide under.

I see nothing but darkness.

I wake up,
The room is cold,
With doctors all around,
My family cries,
As I wonder why,
What has happened to make them so?

That's when I was told.

Fear filled my eyes,
As they said their goodbyes,
I didn't want them to go,
I asked for one wish,
And I said it was this.

Can I go to see her?

The very next day,
A car comes for me,
And takes me where I want to be,
In the arms,
The arms...

My head hurts.

Hours later I find myself lost,
In a town where everything never gets out,
Where the secrets lie,
There I try and find,
The person I want to see most.

Where has the time gone?

I start to slump,
Next to the lamp post not far from you may be,
My eyes start to close,
As my smile rose,
At least I was close to seeing her.

So very close...

It's a quarter past two,
And I'm almost due,
My time is running out,
I feel the pain set side,
When I see a pair of eyes,
Familiar yet not.

You...

I see you start to tear,
But I embrace you close dear,
Asking you to not cry for me,
Together we are now,
Oh how I have waited for this day.

I have to do this...

I take your face in my hands,
Wiping the falling tears from your face,
I plant a kiss,
Filled with bliss,
Of the love you filled me with.

It ends so quick.

I feel myself slipping within your embrace,
I try to hold on,
But it is no use,
My soul wants to be free.

Please not yet!

The smile on my face still stays,
As I feel myself go away,
The pain is gone,
But I am still here,
I will always be here with you.

Forever and always right?

My last words I speak silently in your ear,
As I fall into eternal peace,
Even if this heaven lacks one angel,
You,
I shall wait until you are once again here,
By my side,
My smile is gone.

Don't cry for me please...
For I will always be there for you..
Even in Death.

Right now,
I hate myself.
I hate everything about me.
I hate that I'm not beautiful,
I hate that I don't feel special,
I hate that I hate myself,
I hate everything about me.
I feel like I have,
This ball of depression,
Pushing down on the top of my lungs,
And my spine.
I don't know what to do,
It makes me feel sick.

And all I want to do,
Is vomit up my emotions.
And I have these notions,
That life isn't worth living,
When you're not living life,
But what is worth living life for?
I feel as if I have this fog,
Covering my brain,
And blinding my eyes,
And I hate it.

I hate feeling like no one cares,
I hate feeling like I've fixed me,
Just to find myself breaking apart.
I hate not knowing exactly how I feel and why,
Because it's all some tangled web.
I hate feeling like I'm going insane,
And there's nothing I can do to stop it.

I hate crying,
and how weak it makes me feel.
I hate feeling like I should be dying,
When my heart doesn't seem to care.
I hate people asking me what's wrong,
Because they're curious,
Not because they actually care.
I hate that when I look in the mirror,
All I can see is this broken wreck of my former self,
Who isn't anything like the person I want to be.

I hate that I never feel good enough,
And that I'm a failure to myself and everyone around me.
I hate that I'm always sick,
And that I never really feel perfectly good.
And if I do,
Someone is always waiting patiently,
To crush it, along with my heart.
I hate having my emotions chase me,
Just to find out I'm chasing them,
And they're leading me in a circle.
I hate it when people tell me something,
But they know they don't really mean it.
And I hate it when people won't admit,
Exactly how they feel,
Because they're just too afraid.

I hate people who have to make stupid jokes,
Every chance they get,
Because they can't handle how they feel.
I hate feeling like I'm the only one on earth,
Who understands how I feel,
Or who even cares.
I hate feeling this way,
And I hate hating everything.
I hate writing poetry,
And then feeling like it's faulty,
Just like me.
I hate being told to be positive,
When I hate positivity.

I hate the way you smile at me
And tell me what to do.
I hate the way you manipulate me
And never say anything true

I hate the way you talked about me-
Always behind my back.
I hate the way you laughed at me.
It turned my whole world black.

I hate the way you act to me
So pathetic, cruel and mean
You turn my world upside down.
And make nothing the way it seems

I hate the way you treat me.
It's like you're digging my grave
But most of all I hate the way
That you never, ever forgave...

Everyone dreams in his own way.
Some of us maybe dream of a better life.
Some others may try to live in a dream making themselves part of a fairytale.
Some others would dream of money, power, glory.

Whatever our dreams are, it's very rare for a dream to come true.
All of us want to turn it into reality, but eventualy, we realize that it's impossible.
But the time comes and one of our dreams becomes reality.

We keep wondering if it's real, or just a common dream. We keep asking ourselves why, how could this be reality.
When we finally realize that this is reality, it's too late.
Why?
Because right at that moment, we suddenly wake up.