Im replacing Jin Kazama with this guy, Skrag Gotfelcha

Hollow

Name: Skrag Grotfelcha

Age: 70 (total) 25 (human)

Gender: Skrag is male

Height:
2 meters

Weight: 220 lbs

Appearance: Skrag's first form appears to be a man-like creature wearing grey, ancient armour. His mask has the face of a madman.
His Hollow Skin (between the gaps in his armour) is green. His armour seems similar to this:

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www.freewebs.com/fullmetal-alchemist_shrine/18.jpeg&imgrefurl=http://www.myth-weavers.com/showthread.php%3Fp%3D2602817&usg=__COr9bQNiYxY2NgXq91fbSymZYNo=&h=889&w=500&sz=97&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=S9GXV8BFZAB5wM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=70&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhollow%2Bknight%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1676%26bih%3D872%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1334&vpy=21&dur=921&hovh=300&hovw=168&tx=85&ty=166&ei=MLyiTJDoK4nSuwO9jrGeAw&oei=MLyiTJDoK4nSuwO9jrGeAw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=50&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:0

(Yes,yes, i KNOW its Alfonse Elric, just account for his armour BELOW the head.)

Personality: [General]
As Skrag is a psycopath, he perfers to be sadistic to his prey.
As he kills humans, and even the occasional hollow, his eyes light up with insanity and he does'nt eat them, he drinks their blood and then tears their bodies into small shreds, putting them in a bag he calls the "Gutsack", he eats the bodies later like potato chips.

Skrag also relishes in scaring people and also Screaming his head off at random times. He will often hide in corners at rock concerts, and loves to scare fellow hollows (The ones that he doesnt want to fight, namely former freinds and hollows that are sick of devouring) with his screaming. Overall, Skrag is a loud-mouthed psycho, relishing in laughing at other hollow's pain before he kills them.

History:
I have described almost everything already. Skrag has been a hollow for 3 months, and he loves it. Skrag came from an asylum. Skrag escaped from the asylum, and went on a rampage. He was eventually gunned down by the police. As he died, he felt a feeling on anguish, as he had not killed all the people in the world, a vow he made while he was in an asylum cell. 2 days later, he bacame a hollow.

At first, he was a demi-hollow. He would ambush any humans that passed by and kill them by tearing their throats open, drinking their blood and tearing their bodies apart and eating the chunks. Eventually, as he evolved into a newly-formed hollow, he found a burlapp sack, and began to put the shredded meat of his victims in it and save them for later.
Skills:

Fighting Skill:
20
Speed:
20
Intelligence:
5
Spiritual Power:
5
Willpower:
10

Abilities:

Ability 1: Skrag weilds a jagged blade made out of hollowbone, as his mask has no mouth, the blade is his mouth. His ability is to shoot
his teeth, the jagged bits, off the sword on chains and tear chunks of an enemy's flesh off with them, pulling the teeth back and
absorbing the spirit power contained in the flesh. He often uses this ability against powerful hollows who are fighting each other by
staying a good distance away and using this ability repeatedly.

Ability 2:(not available to me yet)


Ability 3:(not avaiable to me yet)


Ability 4:(not available to me yet)

Good thing you noticed that Marly, I never played Elder Scrolls. Don't see why you would want to replace your character just as you're applying for a rank up. Why not just make another character on the side? Of course you'll need to make a second account.

Well, I changed it. And, Arawn, i think that Shinis are boring. Jin was just a test char so i could figure out the system of the Forum.

By the way, he is a demon-orc. SO THERE

Well since Jin was a test run, I'd expect a better application. There are several points you need to work on.

First the description; it's only a sentence. A picture might work, but even then something else to add than that.

Second; Fallen demon-orc from hell. Even though canon has that dog captain. Your character is from a spiritual plane then dies, comes back again as a hollow? Most hollows are souls that shifted/morphed. Now you could say that Hell is a physical plane and your demon was killed and then morphed, but if it was killed by a hollow they tend to eat flesh and soul in one go, not just the bloody parts. Or kill the body and eat the soul. Which ever they prefer/eaiser.

Third; History.

Quote :

I have described almost everything already

What you described was his personality, not history. As much as you're making him sound like this bad@$$, rip your heart out and watch it stop, wicked evil guy. You've said very little about him. Four sentences don't make a good history.

Fourth; His soul being eaten means he dies, not becomes a new hollow it's not like a werewolf bite.

Fifth; The ability.

Quote :

Skrag weilds a jagged blade made out of hollowbone, as his mask has no mouth, the blade is his mouth. His ability is to shoot
his teeth, the jagged bits, off the sword on chains and tear chunks of an enemy's flesh off with them, pulling the teeth back and
absorbing the spirit power contained in the flesh. He often uses this ability against powerful hollows who are fighting each other by
staying a good distance away and using this ability repeatedly.

I'm kinda surprised your ability gives more details than your description. He has no mouth so how is he doing all this screaming his head off mentioned before. And eating the others like potato chips? The real problem I see is the actual effect; you absorb other spirit power. From what it sound like is that it drains the other person of strength or empowers you. Or both. I find it abit questionable.

Sixth; There is no Willpower stat.

I know I sound like a jerk typing this, only because there's no real nice way to say it otherwise. This seems like it was hastily put together, sorry but it needs alot of work.


DENIED

okay okay gimme a sec

screw it. feel free to delete this post.