Of Age and Time [Complete]

Ailin looked at the book in front of her. The history of the Soul Society was different than that of Earth, but even though the spirits were supposed to live on a "Higher" plane, they still had the same problems that humans faced.

"War, Bloodshed, Justice." She said aloud as she flipped the page of the book that they had been studying. 'We learn from our predecessor's mistakes so that we can create a better future.' Ailin thought, thinking back to the lesson her History teacher had tried to teach that day.

"But what if there is no lesson to learn from them? What if the lesson only comes from experience? What if the battles and bloodshed aren't able to be avoided?" She asked as she closed to book, her face completely vacant. She didn't talk during class hours, but what difference did it make whether or not she voiced her opinion when she was the only one to hear?

When she had been nothing more than a girl in the Rukongai, it seemed like the days just blurred into each other. When she wasn't an "Aspiring Shinigami" as some people put it, she didn't seem to notice the ageless days that seemed to pass her. Every day seemed to be the same, but now that she was close to graduation. . . It all seemed a little different.

Standing to put the book back onto the shelf she lifted her eyes to notice someone had entered the room without her noticing. Jumping back a little in surprise. 'How had I not noticed you come in.' She questioned herself, though she was sure it was because she had been lost in thought.

"How long have you been there?" She asked, her voice a bit defensive. 'How long have you been listening?' She thought as she straightened out her body and let her hands rest on the book in front of her.

"Sorry didn't mean to startle you." the visitor speaks " You were so deep in thought you didn't see me." He didn't have the academy uniform on, he was wearing the common shinigami black. "Classes have ended I really didn't expect anyone to be here, but the instructor. I had some questions for him, I needed information for my research." The man scratches his head absentmindedly. "Didn't want to interrupt your musings."

Ailin listened to every word that the man in front of her said. She hadn't realized he was an actual shinigami when she first looked at him, but now she saw them; the traditional black robes that were issued to every shinigami. Even though she had a couple encounters with the members of the Gotei 13, it wasn't often that she ran into in the classrooms. . . She didn't think that they visited the Academy unless there to give a demonstration of some sort.

"So you did hear me." Her voice sounded a little defeated, even though there was no battle. 'At least he isn't one of my classmates. . . Or even worse, he could've been my teacher.' Ailin thought, slightly relieved, but also disappointed in herself.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so forward." Ailin started as she looked back down at the book that lay on the desk. "You weren't interrupting anything, but if you're looking to talk to Katô-sensei then you probably won't find him here. He left a little while ago with the other students." She said, her voice getting quieter as she continued talking.

"Well that is a shame. I guess it will have to wait." The man turns to leave the room, but pauses. The shinigami spins in place to face the student. "Why are you the only one here? When I was a student I couldn't wait to get out of this room." He walks around the classroom remembering things not far gone. He points at a seat in the room, "I used to sit there." He turns his head to face another seat "Or was it there? It wasn't that long ago, but it's hard to remember." It's not an important matter, but it still bothers him slightly. "Ah, I'm sorry! I'm Arawn Dan'Shir, recent graduate and member of the 12th research division."

She watched him move to take his leave and lifted the book return it to the shelf on the right side of the room, furthest from the door. Lifting the book up and setting it by the others when she heard him speak. She turned her head to look at him, as he moved around the classroom, reflecting on when he had attended this class. 'He's a recent graduate, but doesn't remember where he sat?' She questioned in her head, but remained quiet.

Ailin heard him introduce himself as Arawn Dan'Shir. She hadn't heard of him, but she didn't keep up with any of the gossip that went around the school, so it might have just been her own nature that kept her in the dark.

"My name is Ailin Tao, Senior." Ailin introduced herself, bowing a little. It had been awhile since she had heard her first name come from her own lips, or even spoken aloud for that matter. "Most people call me Tao. . . I respond better to it." She finished, her voice returning to it's natural calm. She wasn't lying, but she wasn't telling the complete truth either.

"History, has always been my favorite subject." She started, trying to answer his question; honestly this time. "So this room makes me feel. . . Real? It makes it seem like time actually passes?" Her answer seemed to come out as more of a question rather than a statement.

"Makes you feel real?" Arawn smiles. "History is a funny thing; the facts are often skewed to favor the victor. Truth is sometimes lost, other times it's embellished. " He continues his walk around the classroom, he stops to look at a book from a shelf. "But what history is really about is definition; the shaping of the world." He thumbs through the book not really looking at it, "People seek definition. Knowing why and who they are is an important thing. But dwelling on the past can make you ignore the present. " He returns the book back to the shelf, and looks at the others beside it. He shrugs, and turns to face Tao. "History shouldn't be ignored, or past is as important as the present and future. Mistakes to learn from, lies to avoid, and truths to discover. Not just speaking of the world, but of ourselves as well." He chuckles again "Honestly I'm more of a math person; fact and figures, a problem, and a solution. Simple yet elegant. A single mistake and it's all for not."

Hearing a tale about heroic deeds and the victories that followed is a child's dream of a bedtime story. Someone in the past did something that someone considered right and were immortalized because of their actions. But on the other side of the story is a tragedy. The hero on the other side lost the story dies. Only to be written anew with a lesson to learn. No matter how the story varies, the names will always be remembered. . . But that's Literature. . . Is it not?

'Yes. . . Real. It shows that people existed. These events actually happened.' She thought as she watched him. Her eyes following his every move. She listened to him laugh.

"Seeking a definition through the mistakes of others. . . Sounds like a foolish thing to try and do." She thought to herself as she continued to listen to him. For someone who claims to not have liked this classroom as a student, he certainly paid attention.

'What happens to the lessons can only be learned through experience? You can study how to avoid conflict, you can study how to avoid struggle, but you can't study how to live.' Ailin thought to herself. People live, people die, and some of the more unfortunate ones get stuck in between. What was once a life that had a limit was now an existence that could span forever.

"History is just a story of time, altered as it may be, it shows a person that time passes, that it continues to move, even when people are gone." Her voice cut off, something inside her telling her to stop talking. She had always seen it as stories, fairy tales of the past, but maybe. . . Just maybe. . . She was wrong?

"So you like knowing that there is always an solution to every problem. Always an answer to every question? Stability?" She questioned him, trying to change the subject, a small smile making it's way to her face. She hadn't been one to take a liking to the subject where possibilities were actually limited, but math did for itself what every other subject couldn't. . . It knew exactly what it was and what it was meant to accomplish.

"And you hit the nail on the first try. Stability." A smirk is now on his face. "There's always an answer. Black and white; right or wrong." He could see the student was opening more. "The world isn't black and white, it all shades of gray. Logic that can't evolve would be pointless, no room for errors. It seems so primitive when you think about it. It seems so simple doesn’t it?" He walks to the front of the room. Normally the teacher would stand there to address the classroom. There is a chalkboard to write notes for the students to copy. On the board he writes '1 + 2 = 3' "Getting the right answer is what we're taught, any deviations are considered wrong. But there are so many ways to get the same answers." He writes '1 + 1 + 1 = 3', '4 - 1 = 3', '5 - 2 = 3'. "Different problems but they all have the same solution. Is it justification or resolution? I say it's simple, yet it becomes complex." He scratches his head and erases the board “ I like the problem more than I like the solutions. Puzzles are interesting like that.”

'Everything would be a lot simpler if things were black and white.' She thought. Ailin watched as he walked towards the board and began to write. Watching the white chalk move across as he further explained his thought process.

'1.5 x 2 = 3 as does 9 ÷ 3 = 3 as does (12 ÷ 3) + 5 + (-3 x 2) = 3.' She didn't know why his little demonstration made that sequence run through her head. But he was right. . . Had any of the symbols been mistaken, had any of the numbers been so much as a decimal point off; the answer would've been incorrect.

"Give a person an outcome and they'll give you a way to get it. Give another person the same outcome and their way might be a lot different, but the answer will be the same." Her voice was quiet. She didn't know how to respond to any of this. 'It's neither justification or resolution. . . It's living.' She thought, but automatically dismissed it from her mind. If things were able to be defined as "Living" then the world would cease to move forward.

'It isn't a wonder that you would join the 12th Squad.' Ailin thought to herself. He was analytical, and the 12th Squad was where that trait about Shinigami prospered.

"And how do you know which problem is the right one to lead to your given answer? By looking at what the people in the past did? Obviously the option they chose was wrong. . . Right?" Ailin asked, intrigued by his way of thinking. In her mind, it took an intelligent person to simplify things, but it takes just as much intelligence to take something simple and make it complicated.

"Those that don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. Is that what you're referring to? True, the only reason I know the right answer to the problem is that others have done it before." Arawn removes his glasses and blows some errant dust off them. "Forgetting or ignoring your mistakes and you will probably encounter the same situations. It the case of finding the right answer I must acknowledge the wrong answers as well. I can tell you all day that '1+1=5', but you'll only think of me as a liar." He puts his glasses back on. "Again we shouldn't dwell on the past, but we can't just disregard it. We can regret our actions, doubt our decisions, and question our motives; but we must move forward."

He sighs as his own past starts to stir. He dispels them; this isn't the time or place. Moving forward is easy to say, but hard to do. One gets bogged down by their own experiences. "It is hard to do. You'll find yourself asking if there was a better way. Did you do the right thing? The answer is usually yes, but sometimes you don't have the luxury of doing the right thing. Instead you might find yourself doing what works. People we call heroes are sometime just people of circumstance. They find themselves in a situation that can make a profound difference, or a choice that can affect many. They had to move forward; hope for the future. Hope is such a surreal thing." A final sigh as he turns to the door. "But you should take it all with a grain of salt, just the musings of a mad scientist." He smiles, "I wish you well Ms Tao. Hopefully you won't be doomed to repeat your mistakes nor this class." He leaves the room chuckling to himself.

Ailin listened to him speak, her only reaction being a light laugh when she heard him claim his words as musings of a mad scientist. If there was a person in that room that wasn't completely there, it most certainly wasn't him. "It's been a pleasure speaking with you." She said as she watched him leave the room from where she stood.

She had to admit that watching him leave was relieving to her. "I don't plan on repeating anything. . . But then again, who does?" She said, though it was more of a whisper. 'But it doesn't really matter does it? You'll forget me soon enough.' She thought, she had been able to go through schooling without making a significant mark here and would strive to continue to do so.

Returning to her seat to gather her things before leaving, she looked up at the chalkboard, the scratches from his demonstration still visible, a single layer of white dust visible. She moved up to the board, erasing it completely, picking up the white chalk from metal tray and placing it to the board.

'No. . . There's no point in doing this here.' She thought as she put the piece of chalk back in the tray and turned to look at the empty room, the books that lined the shelves to the globe right next to her that portrayed the human world. . . The world she used to be a part of before her life became a never-ending journey

Her finger pinpointed where her home had been, but it didn't say there for long. She spun the globe before turning away. "Thank you Mr. Dan'Shir." She said quietly as she left the classroom to return to her dorm.