Alright, I was hoping you would add more detail to your application as it is skimpy at best, so I thought I would let it sit for a bit. Even though we don't expect every one to be a master writer, we do appreciate proper grammar and details in our writing, as it helps others to understand better, what may be happening in a post.
His appearance and personality are too straight forward and don't truly describe how he looks and how he acts. Is his hair long or short? Pure white skin, is just that. Not sure you want to be walking around like an albino or ghost. Saying that he is not strong, but not weak does not really describe how he looks. Is he lean and cut? Or does he look thin and frail, perhaps looking like he can be blown away by a gust of wind? Be creative with your phrasing. "Never smiles," this is cliche and done a lot. Ask yourself how many people you've met who never smile. Likely none. I'm not saying you have to change it. What about his eyes? Are they gentle and inviting. Would someone "get lost in his gaze?" Or perhaps they may be piercing and intimidating. Since he's described as "cute," I'm likely to think they are gentle at the least. Is he a pretty boy, or does he possess a feminine cuteness? Use pics from the net. I like Anime Characters Database
You can find lots of pictures with various attributes. Post a picture and amend it accordingly with your description to give it your own personal touch.
Describe his clothing. Usually when you first start out, you are in the academy if not just a wandering soul of Soul Society. Obviously if you are in the academy your wardrobe is rather limited to the uniform, but during off days what would he wear. You say he has a cloak. What color is it? Does it drag on the ground or stops at the calves? Is it a hooded cloak? When you start off as a shinigami, you have the standard uniform. As you move up in seats you can tailor it to his personality.
For his personality, describe how he interacts with peers and superiors. Is he confident or meek? Does he look down on anybody? Does he speak in a formal manner or slang? Does he act the same way with everyone? Is he easily approachable? Is he a bookworm, pacifist, or fighter? "When he is in trouble, he always try to find a way out. When people are angry, he always manages to succeed." These sentences don't properly convey his personality. Needless to say, anyone would try to find a way to win when in trouble. How would he succeed against an angry individual? Anger is a powerful emotion, and also varies from subject to subject.
Now onto your history and role play sample. You can definitely add more detail to both. You jump from idea to idea without giving much of an explanation. How old was he when his parents "died"? Did his father explain who he was to his child. Was he able to distinguish between ghosts and humans? How did he find out hollows were the cause? How did you protect the people? By shouting about the hollows? Pretty sure people would think you were crazy. You say he shut out all his friends after his parents died, but you are with a friend in your sample. You wanted to honor your parents? It's obvious that his father protected people when he was a shinigami. What about his mother? This goes back to whether or not his father shared his past. Your history implies he knows about hollows, but the sample says otherwise as he sees a big "thing." As far as your role playing, don't forget to describe the scenery. Day, night, overcast, clear, new moon, or full moon, windy or still, rainy or dry. Describe smells. Describe people around you. You mentioned teenagers hiding behind a bush. How many? Do they look like street or privileged teens? If you feel they would make an impact to your story, try and describe them in detail. Use your five senses. The hollow that lands on him, does it drool on him? Does it smell? If it's sunny, can he see the shadow of it? What kind of pain did he feel? Searing or dull? It's obvious he dies. Is it from injuries? Know that if he his eaten by the hollow he can't be sent to Soul Society.
You special characteristics are not any special techniques that you can use. So absorbing manipulating shadows is out of the question. Saying he can move very fast is also irrelevant as speed is based on stats. Special characteristics are more about passive knowledge and learned skills such as quick learning abilities, good memory, martial arts studies, etc.
And lastly, your zanpakuto starts off as a basic katana or "Asauchi" as it is referred to in the manga/anime. When you achieve shikai then you can have the base form of your choosing.
So once you get those cleared up, you can start having fun.