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 Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)

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Bishamon Saitou

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Number of posts : 482
Age : 22
Where the hell am i? : Anywhere and everywhere
job/ intrests : stuff, and other stuff...
quote : Ah swords...natures knives.
Registration date : 2011-06-03

PostSubject: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)   Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:40 am

Character Name: Bishamon Saitou
Username: Bishamon Saitou
Current Rank/Requested: Rank 0 / Rank 1

Solo Character Development Thread Links:
Tranning, Dojo
Class
Speed tranning

RolePlaying With Others Thread Links:

Night stroll
Rukongai district

Friendly Combat Training Thread Links:

Sparring

Enemy Fighting Thread Links:

Contracted Murder
WIP

Mission Thread Links:

None

Requested Stat Point Increases:
(+5 Per Rank Up) +3 Speed, +2 Fighting Skill.


Last edited by Bishamon Saitou on Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Artemis

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Number of posts : 447
Age : 28
Registration date : 2010-12-25

PostSubject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)   Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:39 pm

Your solos are good, however your threads with others are all short most don't even seemed finished. I would ask that you try to lengthen your posts in threads with others and that you pay attention to grammar; while we aren't that strict when it comes to grammar we do ask that you put the effort forward to try and sound educated.
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Arawn

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Number of posts : 3440
Age : 36
Where the hell am i? : Here, but there
job/ intrests : Anything, but not everything
quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration date : 2010-06-23

PostSubject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)   Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:12 pm

Arty raises some good points, but don't let it discourage you. Overall I'd call this acceptable, just finish up your threads and you're golden. PENDING APPROVAL.

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Bishamon Saitou

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Male
Number of posts : 482
Age : 22
Where the hell am i? : Anywhere and everywhere
job/ intrests : stuff, and other stuff...
quote : Ah swords...natures knives.
Registration date : 2011-06-03

PostSubject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)   Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:26 pm

@Arawn. Just wondering what threads do you mean? because i doubt i will be able to finish the 'WIP' one anytime soon. Thanks.
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Arawn

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Number of posts : 3440
Age : 36
Where the hell am i? : Here, but there
job/ intrests : Anything, but not everything
quote : You were close, but I was right
Registration date : 2010-06-23

PostSubject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)   Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:49 pm

Yikes just noticed it's a 5 person thread. Hmmmm well I don't like unfinished threads, but waiting for 4 peeps would be a pain. I guess the story will get finished up afterwards. APPROVED.

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Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!

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Sal Norongachi

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Number of posts : 887
Age : 31
Where the hell am i? : Scotland
job/ intrests : Philosophical Drunkard/Booze
quote : Repensum est Canicula
Registration date : 2009-04-30

PostSubject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)   Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:46 pm

Yeah what those two said. Try and work on descriptive text in your posts. Describe the enviroment, toss in a bit of character thought here and there ect

You can never be too descriptive and it helps the reader form a better mental image of the scene.

These are things that you'll pick up along the way, however the best way to learn is to look at other RP'ers posts. Find someone who's writing you really enjoy and see if you can find what they are doing that you aren't. Set them as the bar you want to reach. Its how i did it and trust me i was a damn sight worse than i am now when i started.

Approved.

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Raikou

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Number of posts : 178
Age : 25
Where the hell am i? : Within the land of shadows
job/ intrests : Stalking Rin.
quote : "Fear is pain in essence. It's true price is death. The one who fears death is the one who is truly alive; the one who doesn't fear it has successfully conquered one's self."
Registration date : 2010-06-30

PostSubject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)   Wed Jun 08, 2011 7:27 pm

Description - Check; Needs more work

Grammar - Needs Work

Flow - On and off

Thread amount - Good

Post Length - Getting worked on.

APPROVED


Rai most use strikeout when denying a thread/statement. And move the thread and update profile next time. >.>






Last edited by Raikou on Mon Jun 13, 2011 3:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Bishamon Saitou

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Male
Number of posts : 482
Age : 22
Where the hell am i? : Anywhere and everywhere
job/ intrests : stuff, and other stuff...
quote : Ah swords...natures knives.
Registration date : 2011-06-03

PostSubject: Re: Bishamon Saitou. Rank up app (rank 0 - rank 1, ready for judgement)   Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:34 pm

Bump ^^
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