Take me I'm alive (solo thread)

((OOC: This is sort of a mini-recap to remind..well myself really about whats happened to Kaiyo s far...there was a lot more drama that i'd expected- so i've copied parts directly from other posts i've made, hope thats okay ^^ ))

'I've had everything, opportunities for eternity'

Kaiyo lay blissfully in the sun. Basking in the warmth, with the soft blades of grass cushioning where she lay, prickling the back of her neck gently. The Captain had found a quiet place, a secret place, where she could, for once, reflect upon her ever-changing surroundings. For someone as high spirited and energetic as kaiyo, such time alone for pondering was vital. Her chest was rising and falling with a slow and rhythmic pattern. The distant song of birds swayed through the air, still as the earth as Kaiyo lay amidst it all.

'Captain...'

'Captain Kaiyo...'

'Kaiyo Saiyouko, Captain'

No Matter which way she tried it, it sounded wrong. The words that escaped her mouth were alien, they held no greater meaning, they held no achievement or statu,s they just didn't fit. Kaiyo was asked so often what it was like to be Captain, and so often, she would answer in the only way people would accept, 'Best job i've ever had!' her own chirpy voice spiralled endlessly through her mind, ringing through her ears with a hollow tone that had been extended into doubt. It was her life goal (since death) and now she had it, what was left? Was there anything else she could do?...Other than give up. Give in to pressures of the day to day trivial arguments and dispuites that hammered through her brain at a monotonous pace.

Kaiyo shut her eyes slowly, the light radiating a warm glow to the world of normal darkness. The blonde girl had folded her Captain's Haori neatly, and placed it behind her head where she lay. Kaiyo didn't like wearing it anyway. The continual recognition of a status she wasn't even sure she wanted had started to break her. Cracking slowly through her usually calm exterior, to reveal the bundle of nerves that had been so well hidden, not even Kaiyo had found them yet. Of course she wanted to be Captain, but maybe she had chosen badly, maybe it had been but a simple stroke of luck, that she had been assigned her Captain position without deserving the position, let alone preparing for it. Kaiyo sighed heavily. Her expression calm, blank even, as the girl's inner turmoil continued.

Since her arrival in Soul Society, Kaiyo's memory had blurred back into her brain. With thoughts and memories passed returning, it was hard not to consider who she was, to who she has become. Kaiyo had been killed, trying to rescue a woman, a stranger even, and what a cause to die for, better than a screaming woman? Kaiyo had met her sister in Sereitei, and killed her. The battle wounds that covered the girl's body had faded, but where continually replenished by new battles. New opponents, such a sacrifice was needed, it was needed to make a difference, it was normal to want to make a difference. Eventually, Kaiyo's mind drifted, the sun blanketing her in a comforting warmth as she drifted out of consciousness. A wakeless sleep engulfing the small girl, with a brand new nightmare washing over her body.

Have you ever stopped? Stopped as you walk? To take a moment, just a single moment to look around, look all around, and enjoy everything just a little bit more. Have you ever had that feeling of stopping, of falling, happen to you several times over? Like a story that repeats itself, like a twisted fairytale that continues with no ending.

Arms outstretched as far as they could go, Kaiyo carried on running, chasing her red headband. The headband that had been her sisters, and that the girl had cared so dearly for had been taken away. It danced along the air with ease as Kaiyo felt the tears streaming down her face, grabbing onto nothing but air as the red silk seemed to float further and further away. Kaiyo frowned, shaking her head as she threw her body forwards, grabbing into the end of the ribbon as it shifted. The small girl turned her hand over, to see it covered in blood, the wound in her chest dropping her quickly to the ground; the headband gone.

The scream rang alarm bells in Kaiyo's mind. Triggering her feet to start running before her mind had a moment to catch up. The night was dark, and as Kaiyo ran further and further from the flickering light, the screaming became louder. It was a woman's voice, a desperate cry for help that so many were able to block out. Kaiyo's eyes were wide with panic when she saw. The two drunken men, their leery grin's engrained into her mind as they wobbled closer to the woman. An evil intent was written so clearly across their faces, their fucking faces that had haunted the girl's mind so so long.


'You're going to die' Chiyo laughed even louder, slowly dropping her Katana from her shoulder as she vanished from sight for a moment. 'Times up...Kaiyo...move now or it's the end....you have the power kid, for once....USE IT!'. Tenrai's voice bellowed across her shaking body as Chiyo appeared behind Kaiyo, slicing her Katana with ease against the girls back. Kaiyo's face screwed up in pain as the girl yelped, falling once more to her knees. 'Stop letting yourself die! Kaiyo fight back!'. Shaking, still shaking, Kaiyo gripped her free hand around the blade, cutting her right hand as she pulled out the Katana from her hand. Her chest had tightened to the point where Kaiyo felt like she was about to die. So close to death, and yet not without hope. A large gasp came as the woman fell to her knees. Eyes glimmering from tears Chiyo smiled weakly at her younger sister, 'I love you Kai' she stammered, falling face first onto the ground.

The girl's mind stopped, flat-lined with the thought, the notion, the knowledge, she was about to die. The pain had subsided. The pool of blood that had swirled out of her body mixed with her salty tears as she lay motionless on the ground. Kaiyo had died, she had been killed, saying a woman who didn't even know, and not even managing to kill the men who'd killed her. It had happened so quickly Kaiyo couldn't even replay it in her mind. Paralysed with fear, and her body burning with a searing pain like nothing she'd felt before. Kaiyo was left alone. Left alone at night, in the middle of a park, left to die.

The Captain's breathing had sped up. Her eyes still shut. The sun had fallen, and a blanket of darkness had swept over the field in which she lay. Kaiyo hadn't been disturbed, and lay relentlessly in her rest, un-woken by the twittering owl, or the sparkling stars that illuminated the night sky. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, passing through the mistakes, the errors the fatal blows she had taken, but it was needed. Kaiyo's eyes flickered through the images, the flashing sounds, the blaring noises. Mumbling in panic, the girl began to toss to the side, trying to leave her ever-lasting nightmare as her spiritual energy exploded out across the field. Her secret resting place wouldn't be secret for much longer.

Have you ever had a dream? A dream so mixed with reality, so splintered with shards of your life, that you're almost certain it wasn't a dream...Maybe it wasn't.