((OOC: all for spirit power please ))

Kaiyo sat quietly; her mind calm she decided she would use the time to consider herself; and her recently lacking resolve. It was a Sunday afternoon; the last few rays of sun were desperately climbing the tress and buildings before returning the world to a calmed blanket of darkness. Those last drops of sunlight gave a calming orange glow and people slowed down to appreciate it, their hectic lives becoming meaningless in the grand scheme. the small blonde girl sat silently upon a large rooftop; her legs crossed and her face serene; she contemplated her previous life, and the little closure she had received from it.

Forever and always her own cheerful voice rang across the sky. I'll always want to help people, forever and always. The words over time had become less convincing as her resolve crumbled under pressure. The strains from others had become a full time occupation, her desire and need to help others drowned by her current frustration with people. Kaiyo had never been an angry person; and she doubted she ever would be. Kaiyo refused to weigh down others with her own problems but she refused not to help carry the weight of others problems. Her need for power had stemmed from her uncontrollable desire to be strong enough to help everyone, but she was losing her desire, her very foundations shaken as she questioned her entire reason for becoming a shinigami; consequently her death, ended by the girl's built in system of humility she had been killed helping a woman; her own life taken away from her to help another keep their own. Kaiyo sighed falling onto her back she stared up at the sky; the red clouds encompassing the sky with a faint glow from the disappearing light. Kaiyo shut her eyes; she needed to think.

Optimism is the start of courage, and in courage laughs fear. Kaiyo hated the sight of anyone in pain, that much she was certain of, but recently her senses had been dulled to the pain around her; the once strong willed child had become more complacent; her thoughts revolving more around enjoying combat and furthering her own power for personal gain than her original reasoning for fighting. A small defeated sigh escaped the girl's mouth; she wasn't leaving until she felt right again; until she was certain of her reasoning and resolve.

Resolve; firmness of purpose or intent.

Kaiyo's mind raced back to the day she had died; the leery smirks plastered along the faces of the two men as they wrestled with the woman over her bag, and then a child, a small blonde haired girl taken over by her primitive instinct to protect; her fight or flight reaction taking over as she fought the men; to her death. A thought occurred; an epiphany of sorts, the chance to go back and relive the event the chance to possibly keep her life...but each time the girl would choose her death. Despite her best attempts to stop helping she couldn't, despite how much she'd want to live; to see her family once more. A cold tear trickled down her warm smile; her family. Despite all factors calling her to senses that fate wanted the woman to die she couldn't allow it. The fear strewn across the woman's face greater than Kaiyo's selfish wishes; her scream of desperation piercing all doubt of her actions. The tears she had shed so easily cracked through all suggestions of regret in the girl's mind.

Kaiyo sat up, the sun completely gone and the night sky covering all darkness; the irony that such a blanket of darkness could silence the bad; she smiled. Her mind rushing to her initial interview for entry at the shinigami academy, an old man sat ominously behind a desk and called, 'Why do you want to become a shinigami?' his voice booming with power but the blonde girl didn't even flinch, the prospect of backing down unforgivable; she stared straight through the man's eyes, piercing his soul with her own sincere voice; spoken loudly and fearless she replied, 'I have to help people, and to do that I need to be stronger, my inability to let someone else suffer comes at the price of power, but if thats what I need to help, then I'll just keep getting stronger and stronger'.

Kaiyo sat still for a while; feeling her power and energy return with her resolve, energy flowing through every nerve in her body excited her senses, making the hair's along the back of her neck stand on end. A smile crept from the corners of her mouth as the core of her being at last truly believed her words; her determination to forever and always stop suffering, and to continue to grow in power until she could help everyone. Fear and regret seeming as insignificant as one star in the entire sky; surrounded by the humility and growing power of the small girl.

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the decision that there are things more important.

+1 Approved

((OOC: i figured making a new thread was kinda pointless as this is also an application for spirit points. Anywho i hope its all okay ))


'Run!' desperation rang through the girls scream of panic. Kaiyo sat bolt up; covered in sweat and eyes wide with fear. Staring straight ahead her breathing was sharp as the oxygen clambered into her lungs. Kaiyo dropped her head into her shaking hands as she tried to regulate her breathing, 'It was only a dream' she consoled herself; her voice hollow and wrought with fear. Only then did Kaiyo realise she had released her reiatsu; quickly putting a cap on she lay back down. Kaiyo had been sent to a practically abandoned town to patrol for hollows; the girl had arrived two days ago and had yet to find a single hollow. Kaiyo had been having nightmares for the past few weeks; and they had been getting progressively worse.

The small girl had lay down on top of a hill to sleep; she had the perfect view of the sky, and when morning came the best view of the sunrise. Still shaking Kaiyo glanced across the ground next to her, just as she'd expected; her Zanpaktou was glowing. Kaiyo wasn't sure how, but each time she'd had a nightmare she had woken up with her Shikai and her spiritual energy released; her fear unable to control the swirling power. Kaiyo's eyes were glazed over; she couldn't get back to sleep, she was far too awake. Kaiyo's face froze, her next breath releasing a splatter of blood than sank into the grass. The girl took a deep breath as she slowly looked down at her chest; blood pouring heavily as the silver blade was taken back out of her stomach. Kaiyo fell backwards in pain; her lungs burst she struggled to breath as she desperately inhaled gulps of air, the masked figure stood above her as her raised the sword again. Kaiyo's voice not working she slammed shut her eyes as she placed her arms in front of her for protection.

Kaiyo sat up quickly with a large breath of air. Kaiyo moved her arms as she was shaking, her eyes filled with fear she checked for wounds, dropping her head; crystal tears dropped silently to the ground as the small girl whimpered to herself, 'It was only a dream. It was only a dream. It was only a dream'. Kaiyo stood up pacing around her once again released Zanpaktou. Her mind racing through a million thoughts Kaiyo paused; her foot hovering in the air before her next step. Turning on the ball of her foot Kaiyo knelt down slowly in front of her Zanpaktou. Her breathing still unstable she tried to stop shaking as she crossed her legs to sit down. 'I really need your help here' she called quietly, shutting her eyes.

'With the nightmares?'Kaiyo's eyes shot open as she stared at Zenpyou. The familiar lion stood side by side with Tenrai, the woman who had caused the innocent girl so much pain. Kaiyo nodded at the lion, 'How do i stop them?' she asked. Kaiyo had managed to stop shaking now; and her breathing was returning to a regular pace. Tenrai stepped forward and frowned slightly at the girl, 'You don't; you conquer them'. Kaiyo frowned back at the woman, she seemed unable to answer a simple question.. Zenpyou wandered around to one side of Kaiyo, waiting for the girl to turn fully facing him before he continued. 'Did you know where your feel fear your heart beats faster and harder to promote blood flow rich with nutrients and oxygen to the brain and muscles for increased intensity and power'. Tenrai appeared at the other side of the girl; carrying on the lecture, 'Your nervous system is supplied with any decisions needed to make quick, rapid decisions and quick reflexes'.

'People who fight with fear are destined to lose, but those who can take control of that fear will win'. Kaiyo sighed slightly; these two never made anything easy. 'Experiences of fear are, by their very nature, impacting and, in this way, can remain in the unconscious mind long after exposure; where they may then manifest as nightmares.' Kaiyo nodded slightly. Tenrai leaned in closer to the girl and whispered, 'So, what are you afraid of?'

The warm liquid surrounded the small girl; lying still on the ground as blood slowly seeped from her stomach. Her face was sideways against the cold pavement and her face void of any emotion. Screams surrounded the motionless girl; the warped cries of help moulding together in a vortex that engulfed the girl.

Kaiyo's head turned sharply; her large blue eyes piercing through the woman, 'Being helpless' she replied coldly. The woman smirked slightly as she stood up and walked slowly away from the girl. The black haired woman turned back to face Kaiyo; unsheathing the Zanpaktou she carried over her shoulder. A flash of panic flew across Kaiyo face as she stumbled backwards from the woman’s blade.'fear is good; and if you can overcome your fear you'll feel the benefits'.

Kaiyo's body was forced down; unable to move all she could do was watch. Kaiyo struggled as Tenrai turned around with her Zanpaktou; lunging the blade through a small girl. Kaiyo struggled as much as she could; forcing all of her energy and power into breaking whatever bond held her so tightly. Tenrai continued on her rampage; a trail of blood surrounding Kaiyo as the pile of dead grew bigger and bigger. Anger turning to desperation Kaiyo screamed and called for the woman to stop, but still she spun round and brought her sword down on the shoulders of a tall man. Tears streamed down the small girl's face as she carried on to call for the woman to stop. Each time only spurring her on to kill even more. Each time the blonde girl tried to re-assure herself that it wasn't real a cry or scream of panic came from the woman’s next victim. 'On average our hearts pump one gallon of blood around our bodies in a single minute. When we're afraid our hearts pump 5 gallons of blood around body each minute'

Tenrai stopped for a while; still leaving the small girl an emotional wreck bound tightly on the ground ,staring at the dead bodies of Tenrai's rampage. Tenrai returned after an hour; her Zanpaktou dripping the blood of hundreds of people; each droplet falling slowly to the ground in front of the girl. Once again the woman spun round with her Zanpaktou; staring into the eyes of a middle aged man. Kaiyo hadn't given up; at the sight of another victim she struggled with all her might; forcing whatever power she had into breaking her tight bonds. As the woman’s sword swung ominously towards the mans neck Kaiyo's arms exploded outwards; her face filled with determination the small girl appeared in front of the woman. The clashing of metal on metal rang through the air as Kaiyo stared blankly into Tenrai's eyes; her energy rushing through her body as she swung her own glowing Zanpaktou quickly across the woman’s body. Kaiyo moved quickly around the woman; her power surging around her body as she swung her sword down at her opponent.

Kaiyo sat up quickly with a great gasp of air. The blonde girl glanced around her; the sun was creeping up along her hill and just starting to peek above the horizon. Kaiyo let out a small sigh of relief, smiling she lay back down to enjoy the sunrise.

Wow... i give this a + 3 spirit power.